Riot Machine
by pinkhairdontcare
Summary: A/U. Lightning's an ex-soldier reaping the consequences of her dishonorable discharge. Will Hope, her social worker, be able to help her reconcile with her past and move forward? Eventual Light/Hope. Rated for violence/drugs/sex/death.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Riot Machine

**Rating: **MA for violence, drugs, sex and death.

**Pairings:** Lightning/Hope

**Summary:** A/U. Lightning's an ex-soldier reaping the consequences of her dishonorable discharge. Will Hope, her social worker, be able to help her reconcile with her past and move forward? Eventual Lightning/Hope. Rated for violence/drugs/sex/death.

**Notes:** This is my first FFXIII fanfic (and the first fanfic I've written in about 7 years, actually). Whew. I took some liberty in regards to government assistance/benefits and such in this story, since it's A/U, so it's not going to be exactly as you guys might know it. It's roughly based on typical USA policies - very roughly. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

**About the setting:** The setting of this A/U is similar to modern day USA. It takes place in Eden, capital city of the country of Cocoon, and it is very similar to NYC. Also like NYC, Eden has various boroughs, though on a much smaller scale. Those boroughs are Bodhum, Palumpolum, and Nautilus.

**Disclaimer:** Final Fantasy XIII and its characters are property of Square Enix and their respective owners. They do not belong to me.

**Chapter One**

Lightning lay in bed, staring at her alarm clock as it buzzed repetitively. It had been going off for twenty minutes now, and she still had not moved. She was supposed to be meeting her caseworker for her food stamp recertification in ten minutes, and now there was absolutely no way she would make it on time.

She had just found out yesterday that she was being evicted from her apartment in downtown Nautilus for missing the rent payment for the last month. She had two weeks to leave.

Even living frugally, her menial savings had dried up over the last year since she had been discharged from PSICOM. She had tried to find a job within that time span, but no one would hire someone with a dishonorable discharge - it was the equivalent of a felony. She couldn't even find work with a fast food restaurant. And having been stripped of her veteran benefits, she had no military assistance whatsoever for housing or healthcare.

The realization that she was going to be homeless was finally setting in.

Finally, she reached over and turned the alarm off, then slid out of bed and went to the bathroom. Her stomach was clenching painfully in hunger, but she ignored it, and instead stood over the sink, staring at her reflection in the dingy mirror. Tired blue eyes stared back, half-hidden beneath her tousled pink locks.

"What the hell am I going to do?" Lightning murmured.

She splashed water on her face, brushed her teeth, and untangled her hair until the curls hung semi-neatly on the left side of her neck. She threw on an old pair of jeans, sneakers, and a worn sweater, then exited her building.

The fiercely cold wind bit through her thin sweater immediately, carrying stray snowflakes with it. The sidewalks were damp, but luckily, it wasn't cold enough for the snow or ice to stick. Lightning lit up a cigarette as she walked uptown, trying her best to ignore the frigid air blasting between the tall buildings. She hunched over and folded her arms as she walked past the rows idling cars in the road. The Friday afternoon traffic was moving even slower than usual.

She almost wished that frostbite would somehow manage to kill her before she reached the Sanctum Assistance building. Almost.

Thirty minutes later, she arrived, grateful for the warmth that washed over her as she walked inside. She pulled the door closed behind her with numb fingers. As she turned around, she ran smack into someone who had been standing behind her.

"Ah!" the man exclaimed as he dropped his briefcase, which sprung open. The contents spilled to the floor. He bent over to gather them up. "I'm so sorry," he said, scrambling to pick the folders.

Lightning watched him for a moment, then knelt down to help. She handed him a stack of files, and he smiled at her as he accepted them. He had shaggy blonde hair so white it appeared silver, and deep sea-green eyes ringed with dark lashes - a startling contrast to his otherwise fair features. He had a generous curve of lips, and she could see the diamond studs in his ears sparkling from underneath his hair.

"Thank you," he said sincerely. "Sorry about that." He straightened, then offered his hand to help pull her up. Lightning considered for a moment, then brushed his hand off, standing on her own.

"Don't worry about it," she said gruffly, shoving her hands in pockets and walking quickly down the hall. "Just watch where you're going next time." If he responded, she did not hear it.

She stopped in front of the door with the name "Sazh Katzroy" labeled next to it, and knocked.

"Come in!" came the muffled reply.

Lightning opened the door and peered in. Sazh was holding a phone receiver, the other hand poised to dial. As his dark gaze met hers, he hung up and crossed his arms across his chest.

"Have a seat," he said, looking bemused, and she complied. "I was just about to call you. Do you know how late you are? I'm supposed to be leaving in five."

Lightning crossed her legs and folded her hands in her lap, watching him silently.

"Well?" he asked expectantly, then caught sight of her clothes. "Jeez, you walked all the way here in that, didn't you? For shit's sake," he said exasperatedly, getting up and going to the coffee maker on the counter, "are you trying to catch your death? Surely you have something heavier than that to wear in this god-forsaken weather." He poured her a cup and handed it to her.

She clasped her hands around the mug. The warmth seeped into her still-frigid fingers. "Not really," she replied. "I pawned off a lot of clothes a couple of weeks ago."

Sazh sighed as he sat back in his chair, shaking his head. "You sold your winter clothes? Even though it's…you know…winter?" He ran a hand through his afro, then said, "Listen. I have some news."

"Bad, I'm sure," Lightning muttered, taking a sip of the coffee.

"I'm retiring," he said.

She stared at him, her stomach twisting. She placed the mug down, then hunched over, resting her elbows on the edge of the desk and balling her hands into fists in her hair.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

Even though she had only known Sazh for a year, he had basically been her guardian angel. Since he had become her social worker, he had fought his hardest to get her government benefits, though he had only succeeded in acquiring food stamps for her. He had been the only one who hadn't seemed reluctant to take her case.

He had been the only one who seemed to truly care.

"Shit," Lightning whispered. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It was kind of a sudden thing," Sazh answered. "Dajh's health has been declining since that big asthma attack last month, and, well, the time seemed right to get out of the city. We're moving to Lake Bresha."

Lightning lifted her head. She tried to find it in her to congratulate him, to wish his son well. "Sazh…"

Sazh reached out and covered her hand with his. His dark skin contrasted sharply against her own, making it seem even whiter than it was. She stared down at their hands. Her throat felt tight.

She forced herself to look at him, sliding her hand out from under his. "Good for you," she said honestly. "It'll be good. For both of you."

"Thank you." Sazh smiled wryly and stood. "So…we already got your new caseworker squared away. I don't have time to get your recertification done today, but we could arrange for you guys to meet up next Tuesday. Will you be good till then?"

Lightning pictured her fridge, nearly empty except for some canned orange juice. "Yeah."

"How about ten o'clock? You can't be late, okay? I let you get away with murder when it came to being timely, but that doesn't mean everyone else will."

"Yep." She watched him pull on his coat. "This is the last time I'll see you, isn't it?"

He nodded.

She pushed herself out of the chair. "Well, Sazh…" She hesitated, then continued. "Thank you. For everything. Really. I'm sorry if I've-" She was cut off as he embraced her.

"Listen kiddo," he said. "You'll be okay. I know you will." He held her for half a minute, then released her with a smile. "Do you need a ride to your place?"

She decided she wasn't going to tell him that her place wasn't going to be her place anymore in two weeks' time. "No," Lightning said. "I'm good."

"Alright. Remember, ten on Tuesday. Hope Estheim's office."

"Okay."

Sazh gave her a sad smile. "Good luck, Lightning."

She followed him out of the office. "My luck ran out a long time ago, Sazh."

He didn't turn around. "I know."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes:** I'm glad you guys liked the first chapter. And to those who gave me concrit, thank you. I'm VERY rusty! I'll be trying to do better. Anyway, I already had the second chapter finished, so I figured there was no reason to wait to post it. Enjoy.

**Chapter Two**

Hope tapped his fingers on his desk, trying to contain his impatience. He was supposed to be working on his first case today, except she hadn't shown up yet. It was already ten minutes past the appointment time.

Sazh, her former caseworker, had informed him in depth about Lightning Farron: most notably, how she was discharged from the army for murder.

When he first decided to get into social work, he never thought he would be working with criminals. He pictured single moms with kids, falling on hard times, or the businessman who was laid off his high-profile office job and needed a little help. It wasn't long before he learned otherwise in school.

Regardless, he was determined to do a fair job. Working with felons was certainly not uncommon, especially in a city like this; though they tended to run the gamut of drug charges, as opposed to…well, murder.

"She isn't awful, just rough around the edges," Sazh had assured him. "It's just hard to get underneath her icy exterior, so to speak."

"I'm not sure I want to," Hope half-joked.

"Her situation is complicated," Sazh responded. "Don't be so quick to judge. She is not a bad person." Hope had not bothered to argue that the fact that she had been convicted of killing her own fellow soldier seemed like a pretty good indicator of character.

Hope was surprised that she wasn't serving a prison term, or worse consequences. He wondered just how extenuating the circumstances of her discharge were for her to be acquitted. He thumbed through her file again absently, though he knew it didn't contain any details about it. A sharp knock at his office door startled him. "Come in," he said.

A tall, slender woman with pink hair stepped through the door and shut it behind her. She was wearing a fraying trench coat over a sweater, leggings and a pair of scuffed boots. It was not a particularly warm looking outfit, considering the weather; still, she managed to look elegant and put together, despite the fact that they were clearly old and worn clothes.

She looked familiar, and he realized why. She had been the one who had smacked right into him in the hallway a few days earlier, who had brushed him off after he apologized.

_Great, _Hope thought.

"You must be Miss Farron," he said aloud. "Please, sit down." He gestured to the chair in front of his desk. She complied, slouching slightly.

"I'm your new caseworker, Hope Estheim," he said, proffering his hand. She thought she was going to ignore it, but the second before he withdrew it, she shook his hand. Her skin was cold against his.

"A pleasure, I'm sure," she said dryly.

"We'll cut right to the chase then," Hope said, ignoring her tone. He refused to let her intimidate him. "You need to recertify for your food stamps, right?" He leaned down to pull the paperwork out of his drawer.

"That won't be necessary."

Hope paused, then looked at her. "I beg your pardon?"

"I'm being kicked out of my place," she replied. "I can't pay the rent anymore."

He looked at her, momentarily dumbfounded. "You're being evicted," he finally said. "When did you find this out? Sazh didn't say anything about this."

"I found out last week."

"You _met _with him last Friday, didn't you?"

"Yes," she said with an air of impatience.

"And you left out that little detail?" he implored.

"What does it matter?" Lightning snapped, sitting up straighter. "I'm just telling you, there's no reason for me to renew my stamps. I won't have a place to put the food or anything."

"So? You still have to eat, don't you?" Hope asked, then realized how unprofessional he was sounding. Clearing his throat, he began, "What I mean is, we could begin the process of applying for subsidized housing for you-"

"No," Lightning said. "Sazh already tried that. No place in this city would accept a voucher on my behalf. Not even the garbage west side of Bodhum."

"That was a year ago. It wouldn't hurt to apply again…"

"No," she interrupted again. "Don't you know how long the freakin' waiting list is? Are you new around here or something? Even if there was a chance that I could get housing, I would still be homeless for months. But there is no chance. My circumstances now are even worse than they were last year. Last year I still had a roof over my head and money in my pocket, at least. Now I don't have either."

Hope stared at her in disbelief. "So you're just giving up? I can help you find shelters to live in. And soup kitchens. You can still get your food stamps, regardless."

She shrugged. "I'll figure it out."

"Family. What about family?" He scrambled to remember what he had read in her file. "Your sister," he said. "What about her? Surely she…?"

She cut him off with a look. Her blue eyes were piercing, like that of a wolf's. "Absolutely not." The edge in her voice could cut glass.

"So that's it," Hope said after a moment.

"Yeah. That's it." Lightning shoved the chair back and stood. "We're done here, I think."

Hope opened his mouth, then closed it, pursing his lips. Shit! This was going even worse than he imagined it would. She was being evicted from her home. That really threw a wrench in the works.

Lightning watched him for a moment, then turned to leave. Her hand was on the doorknob when Hope said, "Wait."

She turned her head and shot him an annoyed look. "What?"

"I can't…I can't just let you walk out of here with nothing," he said.

"Well, that's funny," she replied. "Because that's exactly what I'm doing. Sorry to inconvenience _you_."

"No."

Lightning's eyes widened at the strength in Hope's voice. She turned to face him.

"Come live with me," he continued. "Please. I can't just let you walk out of here and starve or freeze to death or something."

She narrowed her eyes. "Are you crazy?"

_Maybe, _Hope was thinking. One would have to be crazy to make this spur of the moment offer.

"Lightning," he began, "I became a social worker because I wanted to do something good. I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to help people in need. And letting you walk out of here like another number - another victim of the system - isn't either of those things."

She stared at him. "You don't even know me, Hope. I don't think you even like me."

"I don't think you like me either," he retorted.

The corner of her mouth twitched. "Maybe."

"I'm being serious," Hope said. "Consider it, at least."

"For how long?"

"However long it takes for you to get on your feet." Though, as he said this, he cringed - who knew how long it could take for her to find a job in this economy, with her record? He could tell she was thinking the same thing from the disbelief in her face. "I'll help you the best I can."

Lightning held Hope's gaze for a long moment. Then she finally spoke. "Fine. I'll consider it."

Hope nodded and wrote down his number on a post-it note. He got up and handed it to her. "Call me when you decide, then. That's my cell."

She pocketed the note and went to open the door, then stopped and turned again. "One more thing."

He raised his eyebrows. "Yes?"

"You can't save everyone, Hope. You're not a super hero. There are always going to be people who are pathological, who don't want to be saved. There are always going to be people who slip through the cracks. You better realize that before you find out the hard way." With that, she left the office.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes: **Again, thanks for the feedback, guys! I appreciate it. I think this story is going to wind up longer than I originally planned...anyway. I know the build up may have been kind of slow, but next chapter the story picks up the pace, I promise. Here's the third installment, enjoy.

**Chapter Three**

_"Y'know what, Farron, I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anybody."_

_Lightning glanced over at the tanned man beside her as he downed a shot. "Ah," he exhorted. "That really burns going down, doesn't it?"_

_Ryder Fortun was a soldier in her unit. His long black hair was eternally tousled from his compulsive habit of running his fingers through it - a tendency that was amplified in direct proportion to the amount of alcohol in his system. His face was covered in two day old stubble. Already, Lightning could smell the scent of booze emanating from him like some kind of foul aura._

_They were at the bar at the PSICOM base located in Yaschas Massif, Pulse, where they were currently deployed. While there was no sign of disquiet amongst the inhabitants, and hadn't been in quite some time, the Sanctum always had PSICOM policing the country that bordered Cocoon ever since the War of Transgression, though it had occurred almost twenty years prior._

_Ryder beckoned the bartender to pour him another drink. "Oh yeah, isn't your birthday soon or something?"_

_Lightning rested her chin on her hand, sipping her water. She would've rather been anywhere but the bar that night, but her entire unit decided to come out, and she wasn't going to be the only one to stay behind in the bunk. "Next week," she answered._

_"What is it? Nineteenth?"_

_"I'll be twenty four."_

_"Oh." Ryder wiped his mouth with the back of his hand after swallowing his vodka. "Older than I thought. Well anyway, I'm gonna tell ya somethin'."_

_"I'm all ears," Lightning said, her voice dripping with sarcasm, but her tone was lost on him._

_"Y'know what really revs my engine?" _

_"Honestly, I can't think of anything I'd rather hear about less."_

_"Young girls," he confessed, heedless of her reply.  
><em>

_She lifted her head and stared at him in disgust. "Are you kidding me right now?"_

_Ryder burst into laughter, sounding almost manic. He shook his hair away from his face, then looked at her with blood-shot eyes. "No."_

_Lightning pushed her stool back from the bar and got to her feet. "I'm not listening to this."_

_He leered at her, clearly enjoying the rise he was getting out of her. "The younger the better."_

_She turned and began to walk away, fists clenched. _

_"Twelve, thirteen," he called after her. "You know what's the best? The way the Pulse girls cry in those accents."_

_She whirled around and stalked back towards him. She snatched the collar of his shirt and yanked him towards her. "Shut your fucking mouth," she snarled. "Or I'll be happy to shut it for you, you disgusting piece of shit."_

_"Farron! Fortun!"_

_Lightning released Ryder, who nearly fell off the stool, and spun to face Lieutenant Amodar as he approached. She saluted him. "Sir."_

_"Knock it off, both of you. That's an order."_

_"Yes, sir," she said. He nodded to her and, after casting a frown at Ryder, turned and walked away. _

_...  
><em>

"This it?"

Hope was standing near the two packed cardboard boxes beside the door. Lightning leaned down to pick one up.

"Yeah, this is it."

"What about the furniture?" Hope cast an eye around the dim apartment.

"My landlord is going to sell it."

"Fair enough," Hope said as he lifted the remaining carton.

After a week of deliberation, Lightning had decided that her best option was to take Hope on his offer. While she had originally planned on playing the martyr for the sake of her own pride, she knew that she would have to be crazy to not accept a free roof over her head - almost as crazy as Hope was for making the offer in the first place.

The two of them walked down the flight of stairs and outside in silence. It had been snowing since earlier that morning, and already a fine layer had built up on the ground. Hope opened the trunk of his sedan and they both laid the boxes inside.

"Easy enough," he said with a smile, then got into the driver's side of the car. Lightning followed suit, slipping into the other front seat.

"Heated seats," she said.

"Yeah," Hope acknowledged. "Nice, huh?"

They were both quiet for the majority of the car ride. Lightning leaned her forehead against the window, staring out at the expanse of the bay that separated Nautilus from Palumpolum as they drove over the massive bridge that spanned the two shores.

"Never been over here," she remarked.

"No?" Hope cast a sidelong glance at her. "I guess it's kinda ritzier than either Nautilus or Bodhum."

Lightning craned her neck around and watched the skyline of Nautilus recede. Even through the snow, she could see the very top of the massive roller coaster that the borough was so famous for, located in the amusement park aptly named "The City of Dreams."

"I won't miss it," she said, settling back into her seat.

Forty minutes later they arrived at Felix Heights. The high-rise afforded a spectacular view of the port of Palumpolum, though the current weather had reduced the visibility enough that it was nearly impossible to see.

Lightning craned her neck. "What floor?" she asked.

Hope was pulling the boxes out of the back of the car. "The fiftieth."

She looked at him. "And how many floors are there?"

He grinned. "Fifty."

One long elevator ride later, they arrived at Hope's apartment. The foyer was all marble and mirrors that opened into an airy living room; the plate glass windows overlooked the port and a large wrap-around balcony.

"Sheesh," Lightning said, taking it all in. "Social workers make this much money?"

"Er, no," Hope replied. "This is…was…my parents' place."

"And they gave it to you?"

"Posthumously," Hope said, walking down the hall. Lightning tore her gaze away from the windows and followed him.

"Sorry," she murmured as they walked into a fair sized bedroom. The queen-sized bed had a rich burgundy comforter spread across it, and the large window on the far side of the room was covered with a velvet curtain. Lightning set down the box she was holding and walked over to the window, pulling the heavy fabric aside. Immediately the room was awash with pale winter light. Below she could see shorter buildings spread out on either side of the tower, and in the distance, the bay bridge.

"No need to be," Hope said as he set the other box down. "What do you think?

"It's really nice." She let the curtain fall back into place, and the room fell into darkness again. After a moment's hesitation, Lightning offered, "I…my parents are gone too. They died when I was fifteen."

"My mom died when I was fifteen, too. And then my dad last year." Hope shot her a wry smile. "Well, anyway…"

Lightning looked away in mild embarrassment. _How awkward was this?_

"This will be your room. There's a bathroom across the hall, and the laundry room is beside it. Did you, uh, want me to help you unpack or anything?"

"No," Lightning said hastily. "No. I've got it. It's fine."

"Oh. Okay." Hope backed out of the room. "No problem. Make yourself at home. Let me know if you need anything…I'll show you where stuff is and all."

Lightning listened as Hope's footsteps faded down the hall, then nudged the door shut. She sat down and opened the first box and lifted out a few folded shirts and placed them on the bed.

She was so incredibly sick of relying on others, especially for so long. She absolutely had to get back on her feet. She had to stop the self-defeating behaviors that she had picked up, and the self-loathing that had come with them. She needed to quit the pity parties that she threw for herself on too many occasions lately. She owed it to herself. She owed it to Sazh, who had gone above and beyond for her and amounted to her only friend, even though he was gone now too. She owed it even to Hope, to whom she was a virtual stranger; even so, that hadn't stopped him from extending such an overture of kindness that its magnitude was off the charts.

She uncovered a sealed bag at the bottom of the carton and pulled it out.

"It starts with this," she murmured.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes:** Once again thanks for the reviews. I was going to get this chapter finished sooner but I turned 21 this weekend so… it's been a bit crazy, haha. Enjoy.

**Chapter Four**

The sound of the front door slamming shut startled Hope awake. He had been dozing on the couch for the last few of hours. It was Friday night - or Saturday morning actually, according to his watch, which read 3:44 AM in bright green digits.

He rubbed his forehead, then got to his feet and stretched. Over the course of the last couple of weeks, he and Lightning had settled into a routine of sorts. They both left around the same time in the morning; he went to work, she went to look for jobs. Sometimes they also came home around the same time, though for the last several nights she would be out very late, returning to the penthouse somewhere between twelve and two in the morning. He had no idea where she was for these times, and she didn't exactly volunteer information.

He was worried about it, and this night he had intended to ask the recalcitrant young woman what exactly she was up to; but as Lightning stumbled in from the foyer, all of the demands he intended to make of her died on his lips.

She leaned against the doorway, and Hope could see her shirt and jacket were stained with blood. She was holding her side and her breathing was labored. Damp tendrils of hair clung to her pale, sweating face. Her cheek had a fresh bruise spreading across it.

"Lightning!" Hope rushed over to her. "What happened? Holy shit..."

She leaned her head against the wall. "Shit, shit, shit," she hissed. "It hurts so fucking bad."

"We gotta go to the ER. Come on." Hope reached for her, intending to support her, but she slapped his hand away.

"No! I don't have any health insurance or anything, remember?"

"Oh for fuck's sake," Hope spat. "I'll cover it."

"I said no!" she snapped, squeezing her eyes shut.

Hope passed a hand over his face and gave an agitated sigh. "Light-"

"Please," she interrupted. "Just help me, okay?"

Hope assisted her to the bathroom. She sat down on the edge of the tub and hunched over.

"Where are you hurt?" Hope asked as he pulled the first aid kit from the cabinet under the sink.

Lightning shrugged off her jacket and lifted up her shirt. A long, jagged wound curved upwards from around her waist to her back in the shape of a hook. While the gash on her side already appeared to be scabbing, it was still bleeding freely down her back. Hope winced as he caught sight of it, and knelt down beside her.

"This is deep, Lightning," he fretted. "We really ought to go to the emergency room. I think this is gonna need stitches." He gazed up at her. "You're losing a lot of blood." When she remained stubbornly silent, he said, "Look, I'll try to stop the bleeding, okay? But if it doesn't work we're going to the hospital, even if I have to throw you over my shoulder and drag you there kicking and screaming."

The corner of her mouth twitched upward in a small smile. "I don't think so."

"Then I would just take you after you passed out from blood loss," he replied. She bit her lip and braced herself on the tub as he pressed a towel to the wound. Her breath escaped her sharply.

"How did this happen?"

Lightning pushed her face into her hand, rubbing her eyes with her thumb and forefinger. "Don't worry about it."

"Dammit, Lightning!" The strength in Hope's voice caused her to start, and she looked down to meet his glare. "Look, I'm sick of all the secrecy and crap. I told you I would help you out, but how can I when you won't let me? You don't tell me anything, about what's going on, or about your situation, and I don't know what the hell you've been getting up to." He grabbed her wrist. "Talk to me. Please."

She gave him an incredulous look - and then her eyes rolled back into her head and she slumped forward. Hope caught her before she hit the floor. The towel he had been using as a compress was already saturated with her blood.

"Light?" he appealed, pushing her hair back to see her face better. After a few seconds, her eyes fluttered open.

"Fine," she whispered, "maybe we should do it your way."

…

It was almost six in the morning by the time they left the hospital. Lightning sat gingerly in the passenger seat, careful of the sixty stitches that laced up her back. Hope closed the door for her, then got behind the wheel. While he had been running on adrenaline for the majority of the night, exhaustion was starting to creep up on him. It took two tries before he managed to jam his key into the ignition.

Lightning watched him. "You okay?"

"I should be asking you that," Hope replied as he drove out of the parking garage.

"The painkillers haven't worn off yet," she said, resting her forehead against the window.

They rode in silence for awhile before Hope finally spoke, "You remember what I was saying before you decided to pass out on me, or did you not even hear me?"

Lightning nodded once. "I heard you," she affirmed.

"Well, I do want you to talk to me. I'm not trying to be annoying or anything, or try to police your life, but like I said, I want to help you. I meant that. And I can't help you if you avoid me or withhold shit from me." He paused for a moment. "Light, I don't know what happened to you, or why you did what you did to end up in this situation, but I'm not giving up on you. I won't give up on you."

She didn't reply, and it wasn't until he pulled the car into the garage under Felix Heights that glanced at her. A tear rolled down down her bruised cheek.

"What were you doing tonight?" he asked quietly.

"Selling coke," she answered.

Hope gripped the steering wheel. "Okay," he said. "Okay. Are you_ doing _coke?"

"No." She wiped her eye with the heel of her hand. "No, I don't touch it. I just…that's how I've tried to make money. If I could get a fucking job…" She shook her head. "I wasn't trying to avoid you or whatever, I just didn't want to involve you in it. I was just getting rid of the rest of the stash I had. That's what I've been doing. Tonight was the last of it." Lightning turned in her seat to regard him, careful of her sutures. "I tried to do it on my own and I failed miserably, and it burns me, because I've never failed at anything my life, till now. And even while I was fucking up, I refused to believe it. I thought I was okay, that I could still get everything back on track. But I wasn't. I didn't. I couldn't. I can't. I was never trying to be a bitch or take advantage of your hospitality or whatever. I just didn't want to get you in trouble, or get myself in trouble." Her voice began to break. "Shit, why am I crying? How did everything get so fucked up? Why?"Lightning huddled down into herself, then suddenly slammed her forehead against the dashboard and burst into full-fledged tears. She balled her fists and punched the console. "Fuck! _Why?_"

"Lightning, don't. You're going to hurt yourself. Stop."

"Stop?" she said. "I can't."

In one swift movement, Hope undid his seat belt, moved over to straddle the gearshift, and wrapped his arms around her. He tucked her head under his chin.

"Stop," he said.

She stiffened in his arms, but her resistance was brief. She turned her face into his shirt and cried without abandon. Hope held her in the darkness while she wept like her heart was breaking.

Maybe it was.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Lightning awoke later that evening to the sound of her phone ringing. She groaned and buried her face into the pillow. Her back was stiff, and she was almost afraid to move. Sprawled on her stomach, she turned her head and gazed out the window. It was disorienting to awake so late in the day; she had never been one to take naps, even after pulling all-nighters, but after the events of the previous night, she had been drained - physically and emotionally.

Her phone finally stopped ringing, and soon after the voicemail tone sounded. She wondered who could be calling her, then realized it could be a potential employer. As she began to reach for it where it sat on the bedside table, there was a soft knock at the door.

"Yeah?" she called out, her voice hoarse.

"Can I come in?"

"Oh. Sure."

Hope opened the door and slipped in, walking towards the bed. He sat down on the edge. "Hey. How ya feeling?"

"Okay," Lightning replied, folding her pillow in half and resting her cheek on it.

Hope slid the comforter down a bit to look at the sutures in her back. The low-backed camisole she wore exposed much of them. He shuddered. "Ugh. I thought I was going to pass out when they started putting the stitches in."

"You thought_ you_ were going to pass out?" She grabbed the edge of the blanket and pulled it back over herself. "Don't look, then."

"Sorry, sorry."

Lightning looked up at him, then shook her head. "I'm just messing with you," she said.

"I know." Hope cleared his throat. "Anyway, I'm leaving for awhile, to visit with a friend. If you think you'll be okay on your own, that is. I'll stay if you want me to."

"A friend?" Lightning propped herself up with an elbow. "Who?"

"No one you know," he said.

"Well, obviously."

"She's just a family friend. I haven't seen her in awhile, I wanted to ask her something."

"Girlfriend?" she asked.

He laughed, though a faint blush tinted his cheeks. "No."

Lightning quirked a brow. "Hope."

"No, really, she's not." He rubbed the back of his neck. "She's like, twice my age. The thought of dating her is just…funny. And weird. I've known her since I was a kid. She's like an aunt to me."

"Oh."

"Will you be okay for a couple hours, then? She lives a few blocks over, in Rivera Towers. I'll have my cell, so you can call if something's up."

Lightning settled back down on her stomach. "Yeah, that's fine."

"You want anything before I go?" He stood.

She thought about turning him down. All she really wanted to do was go back to sleep, but her throat felt like sandpaper. "Uh, just water I guess."

"Coming right up." He returned momentarily, a glass of ice water in one hand and a folded up newspaper in the other. "One more thing I wanted to ask you…" He dropped the paper by her pillow and handed her the drink. "You know something about this?"

Lightning sat up carefully, accepting the glass. As she sipped it, she read the headline of the paper. **ASSAULT AT POPULAR PALUMPOLUM LOUNGE: Sources report dispute began over drug dealer territory. **She skimmed the rest of the article.

"Yeah," she said.

"So you were attacked because…you were selling drugs where he usually sells them?"

"Essentially." Lightning chugged the rest of the water and set the glass down on the bedside table. "I'm not really familiar with Palumpolum or anything, so I guess it was inevitable. I should've been more careful."

Hope gnawed on his lip, and she could tell he was worried. "You're done, right? You weren't lying when you said you didn't have any more?"

"Yes. I swear," she sighed.

"Hopefully no one recognizes you on the street or something. Maybe you should lay low for awhile."

"See, this is why I didn't want to tell you anything. I knew you'd freak out."

"Well, sorry. Forgive me for living a sheltered life. This is all new to me."

"For sure," Lightning said. "Baby."

"Hey, I'm twenty-one. Not a baby," he disagreed. "I'm taking care of you, aren't I?"

Lightning was quiet for a moment, then replied, "Yeah. You are."

He tilted his head. "Light, there's nothing wrong with being taken care of. Humans aren't solitary creatures."

"Hm." She smiled slightly. "Light?"

"I'm of the opinion that one syllable names are highly underrated," he joked. "Um, I'll stop if you want-"

Lightning touched his wrist. "Relax! You seem to be convinced I'm going to bite your head off."

"To be fair, you nearly did the first time we met." His fingertips brushed hers briefly, then he backed away. "Well, I'm gonna head out, if it's cool with you."

She snuggled back down into the bed, pulling her blanket around her. "Yeah. Have fun, or whatever."

"Right. See you." He shut the door behind him.

Something had shifted between them over the course of the last twenty-four hours. Lightning wasn't sure what it was, exactly, but it wasn't bad either, she supposed.

She was almost feeling like her old self again, sort of. The old self that existed before she went into the military and the subsequent events, before her family was ripped asunder when she was a teenager.

For the first time in awhile, she felt hopeful.

Just as she was about to drift back to sleep, she remembered her phone. Grabbing it, she checked the call log. Instead of a number she didn't recognize, as she would've expected if it had been a place she had applied to work, she had several calls from a contact she already had in her phone - Snow Villiers.

Her stomach dropped to somewhere in the vicinity of her feet. She switched to her voicemail and dialed her password, then held it up to her ear to listen. She gnawed on her thumbnail as she waited for it to play his message.

"Lightning? Please, pick up. I know you hate my guts, but please don't be petty. Answer your fucking phone for once. It's Serah. She…she went into premature labor. She was pregnant, you probably didn't know, and oh fuck, she's dead, sis. She's dead. Please, call me back as soon as you can."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes:** I promised you guys there would be drama! I keep my word. Oh, and you guys are welcome for the quick updates, but I figure my chapters are probably shorter than most writers'...anyway, enjoy.

**Chapter Six**

"So let me get this straight. Okay. Your first day on the job, this girl comes in, right. And she's homeless and without a penny to her name, and she bats her big baby blues at you, and you're suckered into letting her live with you."

Hope squeezed the stem of his wine glass and twirled it around on its rim. "Actually, that's not how it happened at all, but yeah, the end's the same either way."

Fang Yun laughed and slapped the table. "Only you, my friend."

"Yeah, well." Shoving the glass away from him, he regarded the tan woman across the table. Her dusky hair seemed to be in a perpetual state of disarray, but her piercing green eyes seemed to gleam from underneath the messy locks. Despite the fact that she was almost forty, her wild, dark beauty still made her a stunning sight, and her youthful mannerisms belied her age.

Fang was a Pulse immigrant. Years ago, when she had first come to Cocoon, she enrolled in the University of Eden, majoring in business management. It was there that she had met Hope's father, who then was a young professor. The two had become life long friends from there.

"Is that even legal, what you're doing?" She sipped her scotch. "Letting her live with you, I mean. Isn't that like a conflict of interest or something? Since you're her caseworker and all."

"I don't know actually. I mean, it definitely would be if she was actually still getting food stamps, since it's done by household income, and I make too much money." Hope rested his chin on his hand. "So since she's not really getting any government benefits or actively seeing a caseworker now, I don't see what the problem is. I could refer her to someone else just in case, I guess."

Fang uncrossed her legs and leaned forward. "What are your intentions with her, anyway?"

Hope blinked at looked at her. "You know. Help her get back on her feet."

"Yeah? That all?" She arched a dark brow.

"Uh, yes." He gave her a suspicious look. "You think I'm taking advantage of her or something?"

"Well, she is living in your house for free…"

"Oh, come on, Fang," he said in disgust.

"Chill out!" she laughed. "You know I'm just yankin' your chain, kiddo."

Hope shook his head. "That's so sleazy," he said.

"I know, I know. And you're definitely not like that." Fang eyed him. "You like her though, don't you?"

"Lightning?" He started playing with his glass again. "Yeah. I mean, at first she was pretty off-putting…"

"You mean she was a bit of a bitch."

"I guess, sort of. She's a proud person."

"You know what they say about pride…"

Hope sat up straighter. "Yeah, I think she's learning that firsthand right now. But she's warmed up a bit lately. I dunno, I think she's starting to finally feel human. She's been through a lot; I think she's just been running on empty for awhile. She's had a chance to catch her breath since I gave her a break."

"Hmm…" Fang sat back and folded her arms.

"'Hmm', what?"

"The way you talk about her…sounds like you have a crush," she teased.

"What?" Hope pushed away from the table and gave her a disbelieving look. "Fang, be real."

"Am I ever anything but?"

"I don't…" He took a swig of wine and cleared his throat. "I mean, I think she's pretty and all, but-"

"It's about time you found a girl who wasn't just a substitute mommy," Fang interrupted. "Definitely different from who you usually chase after."

"Fang! I'm not - I do NOT have a crush on her, okay? That would be…creepy. And sleazy. That WOULD be taking advantage of her."

The older woman smirked. "You're blushing."

"It's the wine."

"All two sips you've taken?"

"Fang-"

She held her hands up. "All right, all right," she said. "Obviously we've hit a sore subject…"

Hope just shook his head. "I didn't come to discuss my love life."

"Fine. You said you had a question."

"I do. You see, Lightning's been looking for work for a really long time, but with her DD, it's been a pretty futile effort."

"Ahh, it all becomes clear." Fang tilted her head. "You want me to give her a job, don't you?"

Hope clasped his hands on the table. "Yes."

Fang owned the Ice Lounge, one of the foremost high-end gentlemen's clubs in Palumpolum. It had been in operation for nearly a decade, and Fang had reaped the benefits of its success - the Rivera Towers were the most expensive condominiums in the entire city.

"You think she would want to work in a strip club?" Fang snorted and tossed her hair over her shoulder.

"Not as a stripper! Definitely not. But, y'know, as a server or bartender. Come on, I know you can make a position for her."

Fang scratched her neck, looking contemplative. "Tell you what. Go home, lay the idea on her, and give me a ring if she agrees. We can arrange a meeting and go from there - I'm not going to hire her sight unseen. Okay?"

Hope stood. "You're amazing." He reached down to give her a hug.

"This is your early birthday present, you hear?"

"Yeah, yeah."

…

Hope hummed to himself as he took the elevator up to his apartment. He was excited to tell Lightning about the proposition, and he hoped that she would be equally eager. Sometimes it was hard to say with her.

_I really don't know her that well, _he mused._ Only time will tell, I guess. _At least the young woman seemed to be opening up to him more now._  
><em>

Hope reached the top floor and unlocked the front door. As he moved through the front hall, however, he immediately felt that something was wrong.

He walked down towards the bedrooms. Lightning's door stood open. He peered inside, but it was empty. He went back to the living room, and saw a form standing out on the balcony.

Lightning was leaning against the railing, staring out over the ocean. When Hope opened the sliding glass door she turned her head and looked at him. The expression on her face made Hope's throat constrict.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She looked back down. Her narrow shoulders heaved in a silent sob.

"The last time I spoke to her was four years ago. When we argued, because she was marrying him."

Hope took a step towards her. Her fingers were gripping the railing so tight that her knuckles were white.

"I told her to make a choice, me or him. I hated him so much. I thought he was a complete fucking tool. He _is_ a complete fucking tool I told her, 'Serah, you can do better than that. You're only 18. Why are you trying to settle down now? My military salary provides for us plenty. You don't need to make a decision like this.'"

Hope moved to stand beside her.

"But she insisted that they were in love. That she was lonely while I was deployed, and she was an adult, and I couldn't stop her, and if I loved her, I wouldn't force her to choose." She relinquished her hold on the rail and stepped back. With a self deprecating laugh, she said, "I forced her anyway."

"Lightning."

"She told me they were going to get married anyway. But she she said that she would always be my sister and that she would always be there for me when I came around." Lightning laughed again, her voice rich with despair. "I was so stubborn. I refused. And I haven't spoken to her since. And now…"

She reached out and grabbed the railing again. "Now she's dead. Just like that."

Hope moved behind her.

"Don't," she said.

"Shut up," he said, and wrapped his arms around her. As soon as he touched her, she made a low keening sound in her throat. Her fingers slid down the rails as her knees gave out. Hope sat down with her, holding her tight, and she offered no resistance. She bunched her hands in her hair and let out an agonized yelp before the crying began in earnest. It wasn't the hushed, intense weeping it had been in the car. Loud, violent sobs wracked her body and escaped between her clenched teeth. In every wail was pure misery.

Hope wondered if he had sounded the same when he discovered the death of his own mother.

They sat out in the freezing weather on the balcony for an hour, huddled against railing. Lightning's wailing eventually ceased and she remained quiet in Hope's arms. At first Hope thought she had fallen asleep. He pressed his mouth to her head and inhaled the scent of her hair. It still smelled like shampoo from the shower she had taken earlier that morning.

He went to move her, and she stirred.

"We should go inside," he said. He got to his feet and pulled Lightning up. She winced and moved rigidly, and he remembered that she still must've been in pain from her back wound.

"Hope."

"What?"

Her lips parted to speak, but nothing came out. She shook her head.

"I don't know," she said, her voice breaking.

"Come on." He led her inside and sat her down on the couch. "I'm gonna make some coffee."

Lightning nodded. She pulled her phone out of her pocket.

"He won't return my calls," she murmured.

"What?" Hope pulled off his jacket and hung it on the back of one of the chairs at the kitchen table.

"Him. Snow. Her husband. He left me a message telling me to call him back, but he won't answer." She pushed her forehead into her hand. "Shit. I wonder if the baby made it. Oh, god."

Hope turned on the coffee maker, then sat beside her on the couch. The look on her face was so raw.

"Fucker." She tossed the phone onto the coffee table and let out a shaky sigh.

"Where do they…where are they right now?" he asked.

"Just outside of the Sunleth Waterscape. It's a few hours from here."

They both fell quiet. The only sound was the wind howling around the tower and the occasional gurgling of the coffee maker. Lightning crossed her arms and sank back into the couch cushions. She was out of tears, but her anguish roiled just beneath the surface.

After a few moments, Hope said, "Lightning, I wish I knew what to say. I wish…I honestly wish I could snap my fingers and make your problems go away."

Lightning glanced over at him.

"You know, when we first met, I was really apprehensive. Scared, actually. Because I knew about…you know. But you were totally different from what I expected. I expected you to be this awful person. Instead, you were…you. And...I'm glad you came here."

"Hope, remember what I told you?" she replied in a low voice. "I knew you were that kind of person. Who wants to play a superhero and fix all the wrongs in the world."

"What's wrong with wanting that?"

"Nothing. It's just impossible." She toyed with the hem of her sweatshirt. He could see her throat work as she swallowed.

"Well, you're right. I can't fix everyone or everything, no matter how bad I want it or try. But I still want it. And I'm going to keep trying to make things better for you."

"That seems to be a lost cause."

"Well, like I said - I'm not giving up on you. And I'm going to be here for you. You'll get through this. _We_ will get through this."

She gave him a ghost of a smile.

Hope got up to retrieve a cup of coffee for the both of them. When he returned to the couch, he handed Lightning a mug. She warmed her hands on it for a moment, then set it on a coaster on the coffee table and laid down instead, resting her head in Hope's lap.

"I'm so tired," she said.

He hesitated, then placed a hand in her curled locks. He was aware that she didn't mean the somnolent kind of tired.

"I know," he responded.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes: **Greetings from Otakon, where I've seen a lot of AMAZING FFXIII cosplays! Seriously, I think I've seen more Lightnings than any other FF character, which is awesome. Haven't seen any Hopes though. ;( Anyway, thanks for all the feedback. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter.

**Chapter Seven**

Lightning leaned closer to the bathroom mirror, studying her reflection as she outlined her eyes with liquid liner. It had been awhile since she had actually bothered to wear makeup, and she already had to wipe off her previous two attempts. This time she had finally managed to get a smooth line above her lids.

"So I figure that Snow can just sleep on the couch till he goes back home," she called out to Hope as she capped the eyeliner and moved on to the mascara.

"No," Hope answered from down the hall, where he was straightening up the living room. "He can have my bed. I'll crash on the sofa."

Lightning furrowed her brows. "Hope, he'll be fine," she said.

She heard his footsteps echo through the hall as he approached the bathroom. He poked his head in. Their gazes met in the mirror. "He's a guest. I'm not banishing him to the couch."

"Oh for shit's sake," she replied, exasperated. "Don't worry about it. He'd probably like it better than taking your bed."

Hope folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the door frame. "Why are you putting on make up for him, anyway? I thought you disliked him."

"I do dislike him. I just look like I haven't slept in days. I don't want him seeing that and trying to include me in his pity party." She fluffed her bangs, then turned around to face him. "Why are you so grumpy today?"

"I'm not grumpy," Hope said. "And you don't look awful."

"Whatever. Let's go."

Snow had finally gotten up with Lightning the morning after he had left the devastating message on her cell and recounted the events leading to Serah's death. They had gotten into a bad car accident; and though initially everyone involved had seemed fine, Serah started to have contractions. The ambulance that had responded to the scene rushed her to the hospital, where she began hemorrhaging internally. They had been unable to stop the bleeding, and she had gone into cardiac arrest. Their baby boy was delivered and managed to hold on for a day, but being three months early, he hadn't been developed enough to survive.

"Tomorrow night we, er, I'm flying into Eden International with the…with them," Snow had said, voice thick with emotion. "To bury them next to your parents at Bodhum Memorial. You know, in the garden."

Lightning had remained mostly quiet throughout the entire exchange, if only to swallow back the tightness in her own throat to keep from crying. Hope had agreed that Snow could stay with them for a few nights until after the funeral.

The pair walked through the underground garage towards Hope's parking space. "I'm taking the couch," he said again.

Lightning stopped and put her hands on her hips. "Are we still seriously going on about this?"

"No. I'm just telling you." Hope kept walking ahead of her, and Lightning followed after him.

"Do you need to run back up to the apartment and change out of your pissy pants?" she asked, trying to keep her tone light.

"I'm not pissy," he snapped at her.

"What the hell? What is your fucking problem today?" she demanded.

"I don't have a problem," he countered, unlocking his sedan.

"You're really moody today," Lightning told him as they got into the car.

"You'd know all about that, huh?" Hope jammed the key into the ignition. "Considering that's your permanent state of being and all."

Lightning turned towards him, eyebrows raised. "You know what? Forget it." She put her hand on the door handle, intending to get out. "I'll just get a taxi or something."

Hope pinched the bridge of his nose. "Light, no. I'm sorry, okay? I am being a jackass."

After a moment, she settled back in her seat with a sigh.

"What's the problem?" she asked again.

"I'm just…I'm not looking forward to this I guess. I dunno. I'm sorry."

"_You're_ not looking forward to this?"

"And some other stuff. I'm really stressed out. Don't worry about it though."

Lightning gave him a concerned look. "You know…after this is over, and Snow goes home, do you want me to leave? I know I've overstayed my welcome and all. I don't want to abuse your hospitality. I'm sure dragging you through all this isn't really helping you out."

Hope whipped his head around to look at her, then back at the road. He slammed on the brakes, narrowly missing hitting the car in front of him that was also exiting the garage. Lightning braced herself against the dashboard.

"Do you want me to drive?" she asked dryly.

"No. I'm fine. And no."

"No what?"

"No, I don't want you to leave. You aren't abusing my hospitality."

"I told you I'd only stay a few weeks," she protested. "Those weeks are definitely up."

"Lightning. Don't go, okay?" He gave her a beseeching look.

_Why? Why the hell would you want me to stay?  
><em>

"Okay. If you say so."

"Besides, you can't get a job if you're homeless - which, by the way, you now have. A job, I mean."

"Hm?" She shot him a questioning glance. "What do you mean?"

"I talked to a friend of mine, and she said she could give you a position in her club…" Hope glanced over at her. "Unless you don't want it."

"What _kind_ of club?"

"It's a strip club. A classy one. You'd be a server, not a stripper," Hope assured her.

Lightning crossed her arms and looked out the window. "A 'classy' strip club?"

"Do you want it or not?"

"Yes. Of course I do. I'd be insane to turn that down."

Hope smiled. "Good. I'll have to call Fang and tell her so you guys can get in touch. I meant to tell you about it a few days ago, but…things came up."

"For sure," Lightning murmured.

The closer they got to the airport, the more anxious she became. She was dreading this encounter. She knew Snow would be a blubbering mess and make everything worse - if that was even possible. It was magnified by the fact that she hadn't seen him in years.

_Serah. How could this have happened to you?_

"Hey," she said as they pulled into the airport's parking lot. "When we meet Snow, don't say anything to him about my situation. I already told him we're roommates. And I'm still in PSICOM, just not on active duty."

Hope hesitated, then answered, "Fine."

"Thank you." Lightning undid her seatbelt.

"Can I ask why, exactly, you're trying to impress this guy?"

"I'm not trying to impress him." Lightning turned in her seat to look at him. "I just don't feel like sharing my personal shit with him, okay? I haven't spoken to him in years, and he's already a mess."

"Okay, okay, I was just wondering." Hope shook his head. "Calm down."

"Calm down?" Lightning didn't bother to hide the disbelief in her voice. "Are you kidding me? You've been acting like a complete brat to me all day for no reason, and you tell _me_ to calm down?"

She could see him cock his jaw stubbornly. After a minute passed with no answer, she turned away from him and got out of the car.

They walked to the gate in silence and waited for Snow to disembark. He was easy to spot, even among the bustling throng of people; he seemed to tower above them, his shaggy blonde hair like a yellow beacon. He spotted Lightning as soon as she did him, and hurried towards them.

"Hey, sis," he greeted as he approached them. He gave her a rib-breaking hug, and she winced as her back wound stung. She managed to compose her face before he stepped back. "You look great."

She couldn't say the same for him. He had days worth of stubble built up along his jaw, and his eyes had dark rings under them that stood out in dark contrast with his sky-blue gaze.

"And you must be…Hope?" Snow shook the other man's hand. "Thanks so much for letting me stay with you guys. I could've gotten a hotel or something."

"Think nothing of it," Hope replied, smiling. Lightning could see the muscles in his jaw working, though, and wondered for the umpteenth time that day why he was so agitated.

"To the baggage claim?" Lightning suggested.

Snow held up the duffel back that he had been carrying over his shoulder. "Nah, this is all I brought."

"Oh." Lightning looked around. "What about, um…"

Snow swallowed. "The funeral home is picking them up. They're taking care of everything. All we have to do is show up tomorrow."

They stood for awkwardly for a minute, before Hope finally broke the silence. "Well, then, shall we?"

The tall blonde nodded. "Yeah, definitely. Let's get out of here." As the group turned to head back to the car, Snow hugged Lightning one more time. "I'm glad to see you, sis. I really am."

"You too, Snow." This time she returned the hug, but not before she noticed out of the corner of her eye that Hope's fists were clenched.

…

A loud pattering noise on glass startled Lightning into wakefulness. She sat up and pushed her hair out of her face, trying to orient herself. She slipped out of bed and walked towards her window, pushing the curtains aside. An icy rain was pelting the side of the building. As she looked out over the city, she noticed it seemed darker than usual.

_The power is out,_ she realized, rubbing her bare arms. No wonder it was so damn cold.

She opened her bedroom door and peered down the hall. She could hear Snow snoring like a freight train from Hope's bedroom - clearly he had not noticed that the temperature in the apartment had dropped significantly. She wondered how long ago the blackout had started.

Lightning walked out into the hallway, hugging herself. She knew that she should probably change from her cam and shorts to something warmer to sleep in. She noticed that there was a faint light coming from the living room, and went to investigate.

Hope was lounged on the couch in front of the flickering fireplace. His elbow was propped on the arm, and he was resting his cheek on his hand. As Lightning approached, he lifted his head to look at her. "Hey."

"Hi." She walked around the back of the sofa. "How long has the power been out?"

"A few hours."

Lightning looked over at the fireplace. "I thought that thing was fake. How can you have a fireplace in a condo?"

"Advantages to living on the top floor." He moved his legs so that she could sit down. She grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped it around herself, then flicked half of it over Hope.

"It's not really all that warm. You must be freezing."

"Well it's not like I have a big pile of wood sitting around. It's just a starter log. I rarely use this thing."

They both gazed into the flames in silence for a few minutes before she turned to him and asked, "Have you slept at all?"

"Not really."

She looked over at him. "So…hey. Can we talk? About today."

Hope met her gaze. "What's there to talk about?"

"Really, Hope?" She got up and stood in front of him. "What isn't there to talk about? What's the matter with you? You've acted completely off today. I know you said you were stressed about unrelated stuff, but I call bullshit. I want to know what's wrong." When he didn't answer, she reached down and lifted his chin. "Come on. Talk to me. Friendship's a two way street. I want to help you too, you know? As much as I can, anyway."

Hope jerked his head out of her hand. "Fine. I was jealous, okay? I'm jealous."

Lightning stared at him, incredulous. "Jealous? Of what? What are you talking about?"

He tipped his head towards his bedroom. "Him. Snow."

"_What?_" Lightning started to laugh. "Why?"

"Because. I dunno. You're all weird about him, and you put on makeup and a nice outfit for him, and you act like you want to impress him..."

"Oh man." She passed a hand over her face and covered her smile. "Hope, you're ridiculous. You threw a hissy fit because you…listen, there is absolutely nothing between Snow and I. You couldn't be closer from the truth. I think he's a tool. All the stuff I did today was because I was trying to keep him from worrying and finding out what happened to me, which is exactly what I told you."

"Okay, okay." He shook his head with a sheepish smile. "I feel pretty dumb right now."

"I know he's kind of a lot to handle at first - " She paused. "Wait. You were jealous that Snow and I had a thing?"

Hope seemed to realize the implications at the same time she did. "Um…"

Lightning's mouth felt dry. "Hope."

"Okay. I might as well just lay it all out while I'm sharing, anyway." Hope spread his hands out in his lap, palms up. "To be honest, I don't know what it is exactly. The nature of my feelings, that is. I know that I like you a lot, and I care about you. I never really dwelled on the fact that my feelings might go further than that. I avoided it actually. I didn't want you to eat me." He laughed. His voice was a little breathless. "I didn't want to feel like I was taking advantage of you. Maybe it's a little fast or too soon or something, but I think they do go further than just - y'know."

Lightning just stared at him in a stunned silence.

"I'm an idiot," Hope said. "Shit! I'm really sorry, Light. This is so typical, isn't it? God, I feel so stupid. Let's just pretend this conversation never happened."

Lightning found her voice. "This is new territory for me, that's all," she answered.

"New…? What? What are you talking about?" He gave her an imploring look. "Are you really going to stand here and say that no guy has confessed being attracted to you? Ever?"

She pushed her fingers through her hair. "No, of course they haven't. I mean…shit, Hope. How the hell can you like me? You don't even know me. You don't know half the fucked up shit I've gone through or done. I'm sitting around in your house leeching your resources, I've been a complete bitch to you for the majority of the time I've been here, I - "

Hope stood abruptly, cutting her off. "Light," he interrupted. "Shut up, okay? Just stop. You're right, I don't know every single facet of your life but I don't need to. I've seen you open and raw, I've seen you bawling like you lost your last friend, I've seen you mad and irritated and in pain. I've seen you be a complete bitch - I've even been on the receiving end of it - and you know what? I still like you. In fact, I like you even more because of it. I think you're strong, and pretty, and smart. Hell, I think you're amazing, Lightning. I don't care what you did, because every single thing you do has justification. So why don't you leave worrying about details to me."

Lightning lifted her head to look up at him. "So what part _do_ I worry about?"

Hope bumped his forehead against hers, resting his hands on her hips. "Nothing. You have me to worry about it." With that, he captured her lips in a soft kiss.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

_"No pressure."_

Lightning increased the speed on the treadmill to six miles an hour and started to jog. Sweat was already beading on her brow, and she grabbed the towel she had stuffed in the cup holder to wipe her face. The brand new gym that had been installed in the lobby of Felix Heights had just been completed last week, and she had been visiting every day since. She hadn't realized how out of shape she was until a mere ten minutes into her first workout. Her chest had burned so badly, she thought she was having a heart attack.

It was a Monday evening, and an unseasonably balmy one at that; as a result the gym was empty. Through the large windows that lined the wall she could see residents exiting the lobby in droves. Again, she increased the speed another mile and began running. She knew she was pushing it, but she wanted to feel the exhaustion. Fatigue was her goal.

It helped keep her from thinking too much.

The funeral had been nightmarish. It had been a very small affair; Snow had invited a few of his friends, whose names that Lightning couldn't exactly remember. She recalled Lebreau, only because the woman had been dressed entirely inappropriately for the function, with a cleavage baring midriff top that showed off the butterfly tattoo on her shoulder. The rest of his buddies had been an unremarkable assortment that had at least had the decency to dress in more subtle attire. All of them had regarded Lightning with clear disdain.

She'd remembered then that Snow was chummy with NORA, a rebellious group that vehemently opposed Sanctum military and the Pulse-Cocoon cold war. They were responsible for most of the riots and protests that took place in the streets of Eden every so often. Of course they would dislike her on principle.

Snow wound up going home with them after the funeral, taking his belongings with him. He'd only called Lightning to thank her for letting him stay with them. Otherwise, they hadn't really spoken since, and she was somewhat worried about him. She had no idea whether he'd gone back to Sunleth or was still somewhere in the city with his friends.

Lightning managed to hold it together for throughout the funeral. Even Snow had remained composed for Serah's burial. But as the tiny second casket was lowered into the ditch beside his deceased wife's, Snow had lost it. He fell to his knees, a deep wail rising in his throat. Lightning knelt to reach for him, but he had slapped her hand away and buried his face in his arm. Her immediate instinct was to grab him, force him to his feet and tell him to quit blubbering, but she restrained herself. She knew she couldn't even imagine the extent of the pain he felt. Losing a child…

Eight miles an hour.

She remembered how Hope's fingers had closed around hers as she stared into the hole where her sister and nephew were laid to rest, Snow's broken sobs in the background. She had lifted her head and met his gaze as he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. She remembered how comforted she was by his presence.

And of course, thoughts of Hope segued right to the kiss.

Chaste as it was, the mere thought of it brought a rush of heat to her face and lower things. There had been something so raw and intimate about it even though it lasted all of two seconds before she drew away from him.

"No pressure," he had said as Lightning stood there with her face and lips burning, before she had gone back to bed. He had acted like nothing happened between them ever since.

It was unfathomable that he could like her. She couldn't understand it. None of it added up. She hadn't given Hope any good reason to like her.

A better question was why she felt attracted to Hope when she'd never really felt genuinely attracted to anyone in her life. Relationships had never been the forefront of her thoughts. She never had time to think about something she thought was so inconsequential, especially after her parents died and taking care of Serah had become her first priority.

It was inevitable, she supposed, considering the nature their relationship had become recently. Still, it took her completely by surprise.

It was an enticing idea to let herself fall in love with this guy who had done nothing but prove himself to her. To let herself be swept off her feet and become caught up in a whirlwind romance. But she'd never allowed herself to be taken thusly in her life, and the fact that it could go so wrong and end badly was enough to make her hesitate.

She wanted it, though. Deep down, she knew she wanted it.

Lightning shook her head and upped the treadmill's speed yet again, but as she increased her gait, she stumbled. Her knee scraped the belt as she slipped off the machine. She hissed a string of obscenities and got to her feet, placing a hand in the small of her back involuntarily. Though her stitches had been removed last week and she wasn't in pain anymore, the skin on her back still felt tight.

_That's probably my cue to stop._

She glanced at the clock on the wall, which read five-thirty. Hope still wouldn't be home for another hour or so. As she walked out of the gym, an idea struck her.

She jogged towards the elevator, smiling to herself. She didn't have much time to carry out the plan formulating in her head.

…

Hope shut the front door of the apartment and set down his bag. He stretched and cracked his spine. Sitting at a desk forty hours a week was starting to take a toll on his back.

"Light? I'm home," he called out as he walked through the foyer. "Something smells good. Did you order in?"

He tossed his jacket over the back of the sofa and pulled at the collar of his shirt, undoing the first few buttons. He turned to walk towards the kitchen. Lightning was leaning against the the counter, her arms crossed under her breasts. He noticed that she was dressed up a bit more than usual; in place of her usual casual wear, she wore a knit v-neck sweater over tight jeans and peep-toe pumps.

"I made dinner, actually," she said.

"You look nice," he understated. "What's the occasion?"

"There isn't one. I just figured I'd do something nice for you." She seemed mildly embarrassed and pushed away from the counter. Hope then spotted the tablecloth and candles on the kitchen table, along with two glasses of white wine.

"Wow." He touched the cloth. "Pulling out all the stops?"

Lightning was at the stove, plating the food. "Sit down."

He obeyed, and she brought him a plate. "Smells awesome," he said.

"Seared scallops and roasted tomatoes. Enjoy." She sat opposite of him and crossed her legs.

He speared a scallop with his fork and took an experimental bite.

"I'm sorry if it's not good." Lightning bit her thumb. "I haven't cooked anything in a really long time. I just figured…"

"This is great," he interrupted. "Honestly. This is probably one of the best home-cooked dinners I've had in awhile." And it was. Lightning had never showed any inclination or adeptness for cooking. It bewildered him.

"You better not be lying," she warned, taking a bite of her own food. Hope could tell she was pleased, though.

They ate in companionable silence. Lightning loaded the dishwasher with their dirty plates before they both took their wine to sit in the living room. He rested his arm on the back of the couch and was somewhat shocked that she opted to sit in the crook of his elbow.

"That was really nice," he told her. "Seriously. Thank you."

"You're welcome," she replied, sipping her wine. "You've done a lot for me. You still are, actually. We both know that though." She placed the glass on the coffee table. "Have you talked to Fang yet?"

"I have, actually," he answered. "She wants to take us to dinner tomorrow night, if that works for you."

"I'll have to pencil her in," Lightning deadpanned, and Hope laughed.

"So," she began. "We should probably talk. About, you know."

"Yeah, sure. Of course." Hope felt slightly nauseated at her words. _Here we go, _he thought.

Lightning looked up at him. "I guess what it really boils down to is that I'm scared."

"Scared?" Hope asked in disbelief. "You?"

"What?"

"I just find that hard to believe, that's all."

"I've never had a boyfriend, okay? I've never…"

"I find that hard to believe, too."

"Let me finish." She leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling. "It just seems like a bad idea to get involved with the only friend I have, who I also happen to live with. I mean, what if something goes wrong? What if we wind up hating each other? I just feel like we already have so many strikes against us."

"Hey. We're both adults, Lightning. Presumably mature ones. And if you're worried that we'll break up and I'll kick you out, I won't."

Lightning drew knees to her chest. "You say that now."

"Want me to put it in writing? Signed with my own blood and notarized?"

She rolled her eyes. "The point is, you might change your mind."

"I won't. We started as friends, so worst case, we can and would end as friends." When she didn't respond, Hope continued, "Look, when I said there was no pressure, I meant it. And if you don't want to pursue anything with me, that's fine. But I don't think it would hurt to give us a chance."

"Maybe," she said after a time.

Hope threw back the rest of his drink. "You don't have to decide tonight, anyway. I'm going to take a shower."

He walked down the hall towards his room, beginning to unbutton his shirt the rest of the way. He was relieved that he wasn't outright rejected just yet. It was hard to tell what was going on inside Lightning's head.

He wondered if it was a mistake to pursue her. It was a brief notion, though. He was inexplicably attracted to her, and the conversation they'd just had confirmed that she at least sort of felt the same way. He had passed Lightning's case off to another worker so there was no way it was a conflict of interest.

It felt right. That was enough, wasn't it?

_If only it was that simple._

There was only one thing in the back of his head that nagged at him about her, and that was the cause of her dishonorable discharge. He told her that he didn't care what she'd done in the past because every thing she did had justification in her head. He _mostly_ believed that. But if he was being honest with himself, it did bother him to some degree. He didn't want to ask her about it, however, because he didn't think she would explain herself.

He finished his shower and dressed in jeans and a white t-shirt, then walked down the hall to toss his work clothes in the dirty laundry hamper.

He felt Lightning's presence behind him; he hadn't even heard her come up. He glanced at her over his shoulder. She placed her hands on his back and leaned her forehead between his shoulder blades. They stood like that for a minute before Hope asked, "What do you want to do, Lightning?"

"Maybe if you turned around I could show you," Lightning murmured. She stepped back and he faced her. She had changed out of her outfit into her normal sleepwear - shorts and a tank top. The top had ridden up, exposing the silver ring through her belly button. Hope had never noticed it before. For some reason, the sight of it made his mouth dry and twisted something low in his abdomen.

After a moment of hesitation, she leaned up and kissed him.

Their lips met gently at first in a soft, searching kiss. Hope drew back first, but Lightning furled her hands in his shirt and pulled him back in. The next kiss was more passionate. Hope ran his tongue across her lower lip and Lightning responded, her lips parting. Their mouths worked against each other in a deep, hungry kiss.

Lightning stepped back and Hope opened his eyes. They stared at each other over the course of a second, both of them breathing quickly. Lightning dropped her gaze to Hope's chest, then pushed him against the wall. They kissed again, and she pushed his shirt up, running her hands down the flat plane of his stomach. Wherever she touched, Hope felt like his skin lit up. He pulled her close, slipping his hands under her top and kneading the hard muscles in her back. His lips grazed her cheek and down the side of her neck, and she sighed.

She pulled away after a moment, averting her gaze. Hope dropped his hands. "What?" he asked.

"I don't know. This is weird."

"Weird good or weird bad?"

The corners of her mouth curled upwards. "Good, I think."

"Yeah, well, I think _you're _weird," he teased. He touched her face, then brushed his mouth against hers once more.

"Mmm. Okay," she murmured against his lips.

"Okay what?"

"Okay, I'll give this a try."

Hope's heart leapt. "You won't regret it."

"You might," she replied with an arched brow.

Hope pulled her into a hug, resting his chin atop her head. For the first time, Lightning actually returned it; her arms folded around his neck and she pushed her face into his throat.

"You have to promise me one thing though," she said.

"Which would be…"

"That we take this slow. I'm not hopping into your bed or anything." She released him and took a step back, crossing her arms and giving him a pointed look.

"Hmm," he said, feigning disappointment. "I don't know…"

"Hope."

"I'm kidding. That's fine with me."

Lightning's cell phone started ringing from the kitchen. She paced down the hall to retrieve it from the counter top, Hope ambling after her. She answered it. "Hello?"

Her face suddenly paled. "Snow? What are you - slow down. I can't understand you."

"What is it?" Hope mouthed at her. The expression on her face concerned him.

"Stay where you are. Do you hear me? _Stay where you are. _Don't do anything stupid. I'm coming." She clicked off her phone and slipped past Hope and into the foyer, grabbing her sweatshirt off the coat hook. Hope followed her.

"Lightning?" he implored.

"He's at a bar in Bodhum. I couldn't really understand what he was saying. I dunno if he's in trouble or not, but I'm gonna go get him." She shoved her feet into her sneakers.

"I'm coming with you," Hope told her.

"You don't have to. I can handle this myself."

Hope picked his keys off the side table. "Let's go."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"So where are we going, exactly?"

A light rain was beginning to fall as Hope drove through the streets towards the district of Bodhum. Lightning sat back in the passenger seat, curling her bare legs beneath her. Even though the weather was warmer than usual, she still wished she'd pulled on a pair of jeans before they left.

Hope eyed her. "You going to be okay in shorts?"

"I'm fine," Lightning replied. "It's on the west side, so we have awhile. Just stick to the parkway. I'll tell you when to get off."

"West side? Great," Hope muttered.

Lightning turned her head to look at him. "I told you that you didn't have to come. I can manage perfectly by myself." She leaned forward and opened the glove compartment.

"What are you looking for?"

She rummaged around and pulled out a black knife, slipping the sheath off. With its jagged edge and a knuckle guard built into the handle, it was an imposing sight. Hope's eyes widened.

"What…what is that? Is that a dagger or something? _You hid that in my car?_" he spluttered in disbelief, the pitch of his voice rising.

"It's a trench knife." She returned the blade to its sheath. "Of course I stuck it in your car."

"When?"

"Awhile ago."

"Why?" he gasped. "Were you planning on getting into a knife fight or something?"

"It's not like you have any means to protect yourself or anything," she countered. "It's better than nothing for sure."

Hope shot her a pointed look. "Are you even allowed to have that?"

"Probably not," Lightning admitted, tone nonchalant. "I was stripped of my military issued things when I was discharged. Though they missed this, I guess. Somehow. I'd get in way more trouble if I had a firearm, though." She held the knife in her lap, fingers curling around the sheath. She relished in the familiarity of its weight in her hands.

"Do you think there's going to be trouble? Just be honest with me." Hope's brows were furrowed with concern.

She shrugged. "It's west side. There's a pretty good chance. Better safe than sorry, anyway." She unfolded her legs and sighed. "This is why I wanted to go alone."

"Apologies for inconveniencing you," Hope muttered.

Lightning rolled her eyes. "You're the one who insisted, so don't get sassy with me."

He smiled slightly. "Fair enough."

They arrived at Tens forty-five minutes later. The bar was shady in itself; the large neon sign atop the ramshackle building blinked, and most of the nearby street lights were either broken or faulty. They flickered eerily, their orange light highlighting raindrops as they steadily fell.

"Stay here," Lightning told Hope after he parked.

He hesitated. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'll try to make this quick." She got out of the car and pocketed the knife in her sweatshirt.

As she went to close the car door, Hope said, "Wait."

She paused. "What?"

"I…just don't get stabbed or something. Again." He ducked his head and peered at her.

"No promises." She shut the door and started towards the entrance of the bar, pulling up her hood. She heard the _thunk-thunk _of the car doors locking as she walked away.

The tavern was dim and equally sketchy on the inside as it was on the outside. The smell of alcohol permeated the oddly thick air. She flashed her ID to the bouncer standing just inside the door, who gave her a curt nod. She ventured deeper inside, weaving through the empty tables towards the bar that sat against the wall at the back of the room. She spotted Snow hunched over on a stool and hurried towards him.

"Farron."

Lightning halted and turned her head in the direction of the amused voice. A lean, muscular man with shaggy brown hair and a stubbled beard stood just off to the side, arms crossed over his chest. He tilted his head and raised his brows at her.

"Been awhile," he remarked.

Lightning put her hands on her hips. "Rygdea. Listen. I'm just here to get my brother in law, okay? That's all."

Rygdea strode towards her, smirking. "How've you been keeping, sweetheart?"

She frowned at him as he stopped in front of her. The acrid scent of alcohol on his breath washed over her face, disconcerting and warm. "What do you want?"

He reached out and clasped her shoulder firmly, giving her one of the most insincere smiles she'd ever seen. "Let's take a step outside. Just for a sec."

Lightning stepped back, jerking her shoulder out of his grip. "Don't touch me."

"Outside," he repeated, and this time his face was as cold as his tone. She glared up at him from under her hood, then spun on her heel, stalking back out of the bar. They stood out front under the awning. The flickering sign buzzed above them. She shoved her hand in her pockets, feeling the comforting weight of the knife.

"Heard you were doing some business in Palumpolum," he commented. "High end area, eh? Especially for you."

"That was awhile ago," she said. "If you're wondering, I'm not involved in the game anymore, Rygdea."

"Still." Rygdea stared down at her. "Haven't seen you in Bodhum in months. Years, actually." He walked a few steps away from her and lit a cigarette. He took a long drag, then turned back to her. "What brings you back?"

"I told you. I'm not here to make trouble. I'm here to pick up Snow. My sister's…" Lightning faltered for a second. "Her husband."

"I heard about her. Very sorry."

Lightning shrugged one shoulder. "Can I grab him and go?"

"I don't like seeing you in my territory, Farron. Your reputation precedes you." He stared off into the distance, speaking around the cigarette clamped between his lips.

She was silent, but her mind was racing. Rydgea was known for his mood swings - he could be easygoing and agreeable, but it didn't take much to set him off. As soon as Snow told her that he was at Tens, she'd had a feeling that an encounter like this would take place. She hoped it wouldn't escalate to more but she could only maneuver the situation so delicately. Dissembling had never been a strong suit of hers.

"It's all old news. I'm not here to trespass."

"And yet you are."

"Be reasonable. I've already stated my motives."

Rygdea pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and flicked it to the ground, crushing it under the heel of his boot. In two swift strides he was in front of Lightning, his fist coming at her face in a blur. She side-stepped and ducked, but his knuckles managed to graze her cheek and she stumbled off-balance. She darted away from his reaching hand, drawing the blade out of her pocket and tearing the sheath off. With her hand curled around the hilt, she punched him square in the jaw. Blood blossomed from his face as the cast metal knuckle guard ripped into the skin. It welled from out of his mouth and dripped down his lip. His head rocked back from the blow and he staggered backwards, falling to the ground.

"Bitch!" he snarled, his voice thick. He glowered at her from under the tousled fall of his hair.

Lightning stood above him, blade still in hand. "I'm gonna go get Snow," she said calmly. "And then I'm going to leave. We can keep this little conversation between us." She backed away from him, then turned and walked back inside the bar when she was confident he wasn't going to come after her again.

Snow was nodding off on his stool, his bandana loose and sliding over his eyes. She hauled him to his feet and slung his arm over his shoulder and began walking him out. He was barely able to walk on his own, and every word he attempted to utter came out in a garbled mumble.

Rygdea was leaning against the wall under the awning and lighting another cigarette as they stepped outside. He seemed heedless of the wound on his face.

"A shame," he offered as they walked past. "A shame you aren't playing anymore, that is. Farron, you were always fun competition."

"Goodnight, Rygdea," Lightning called over her shoulder.

Hope got out as they approached the car and helped Lightning pack Snow into the backseat. He curled up, his eyes fluttering shut as soon as he hit the leather.

"I saw that," Hope said as he started the car.

Lightning fastened her seatbelt. "Sorry."

"Why sorry?" Hope eyed her, a bemused expression on his face. "Rather you be good at what you do instead of…well, the alternative."

By the time they arrived back at the apartment, it was almost eleven o'clock. Lightning and Hope helped the very intoxicated Snow into Lightning's room and got him bedded down for the night. He was asleep for most of it, which made maneuvering him all the more difficult. As Lightning turned off the light, though, he spoke up.

"Lightning, I..."

She looked over her shoulder at him. "Go to sleep, Snow. We can talk about it in the morning."

He nodded and settled his head back down on the pillow. Lightning shut the door behind her and walked down the hall past Hope, who was watching her.

"So, um…" She unzipped her jacket and hung it up.

"You can sleep in my room," Hope said. "I'll stay out here."

She folded her arms over her stomach. "No. I wasn't going to exile you out here again."

Hope shrugged. "It's not a big deal. Really, Light."

Lightning dragged her fingers through her damp locks. "No. I mean…we could both sleep in your room, couldn't we? The bed's big enough. It'd be fine. Unless you don't want to." She could feel color rising to her cheeks and mentally kicked herself.

The corner of Hope's mouth quirked in a smile. "True," he agreed. "That would be fine."

"Hope."

"I'm serious. I'm not trying to make fun of you or anything. We'll just go to sleep. No, uh, hanky-panky." He cleared his throat.

Lightning rolled her eyes. "Hanky-panky? Really?"

Hope laughed. "Who's making fun of who?"

She shook her head and went into the bathroom to wash up for the night. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. The rain had washed away most of her eyeliner, leaving black smudges under her eyes. She wiped them away and ran a brush through her hair, detangling her sodden curls.

After she was finished, she shuffled over to Hope's room. The door was open; still, she stepped inside cautiously, averting her gaze. "You don't sleep naked or anything, do you?"

"No." He sounded amused. "That seems like an important detail to leave out."

She looked up at him and was satisfied to see he was dressed in a t-shirt and sweats. He was pulled the covers on the bed back and gestured. "Ladies first?"

She approached the bed and slipped under the covers. Immediately, she sank into the soft mattress.

"Feather bed?" she remarked. "I'm not shocked, for some reason."

"I'm trying not to be insulted," Hope replied, getting in beside to her. He turned off the lamp beside the bed.

"I didn't really mean it as an insult," Lightning said, rolling away from him and over on her side. "Goodnight."

The bed dipped slightly as Hope moved closer to her. He planted a kiss on her neck. "Sweet dreams, Light."

She smiled slightly in the darkness and closed her eyes.

…

It was disconcerting to wake up alone in Hope's bed the next morning. The brief panic subsided as quickly as it came as Lightning recalled the events of the night before, though she didn't remember Hope leaving for work that morning.

She had slept better than she had in years with his comforting presence at her back. That surprised her. She had never shared her bed with anyone in her entire life, unless Serah stealing into her room late at night when they were kids after having a bad dream counted.

_Serah. _Lightning swallowed hard, fighting back the inevitable pangs of grief.

She forced herself to get up and shower. As she toweled off and dressed, she could hear the timer on the coffee maker go off.

"Morning," Snow greeted her as she walked into the kitchen. "Want me to pour you a cup?"

Lightning accepted a mug from him and sipped the hot liquid cautiously. The bitter black mixture immediately chased away any trace of sleepiness that still lingered.

"Thanks. For last night, I mean," Snow said as poured copious amounts of artificial sweetener into his coffee. "You didn't have to do that."

"Do you even remember what happened?" Lightning arched a brow at him.

"Err…sorta. Not really." He went over to the freezer and grabbed a handful of ice out of the door, dropping it into his mug.

"What the hell are you doing?" Lightning said. "That's not even coffee anymore. You know what, never mind," she added as he proceeded to chug half of it. "Where were your friends last night, anyway?"

"Well, we were kinda bar hopping…I don't recall, actually." Snow scratched at his stubble. "We pre-gamed at Maqui's house and then we went to Lebreau's…after that, it's kind of blurry. I drank a lot. I just wanted to - to forget, y'know?"

Lightning looked away as Snow fell silent.

"I'm not sure how I ended up at Tens," he continued after a moment.

"Yeah. Tens, of all places," Lightning said, tone dry.

Snow shot her a questioning look.

"Don't worry about it. So your buddies abandoned you or did you lose them along the way?"

"Probably the latter," Snow admitted.

"You're staying with them, aren't you? They aren't wondering where the hell you are this morning?" She put her hands on her hips.

Snow suddenly looked alarmed as he patted his pants down. "Aw, shit. My phone. I have no idea where it is. I must've left it somewhere…"

"Well, that explains a lot."

"Man, they probably are freaking out right now," Snow fretted. "I really need to call Yuj. Crap."

Lightning handed him her cell phone. He accepted it with a sheepish expression.

"Thanks, sis. You're a lifesaver, really."

Lightning didn't bother to correct him.

…

"Ma'am, for the third time, we can't give you childcare assistance unless you come down to the office with your last four pay stubs and the birth certificates of all of your children."

"I already told you I sent those! I mailed copies a week ago."

Hope cradled the phone between his shoulder and ear, going through the file on his desk for what seemed like the one hundredth time since he'd been on the phone with the stubborn woman. "Well, we haven't received them yet, if that is the case," he replied, trying to keep his voice calm when he really felt like slapping the phone off his desk.

"I need that money now. I got these bills from the daycare that I can't pay," the woman insisted.

"Is there a chance you could fax them?" Hope said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You think I got a fax machine? Who do you think I am?"

"I don't know what to tell you, ma'am. I can't help you without that information."

"I don't have time to just come down there. I have three kids, you know."

_If you really wanted the money you would make time!_ For the most part Hope enjoyed his job, except when it came to the people who wouldn't even do the minimal legwork to help themselves out.

"I just don't get why you can't send someone down to get those things," she continued. "Are you people supposed to be helping me? You aren't helping me right now!"

At that moment, Hope's supervisor poked his head into his office. "Estheim? Got a minute?"

"You know what, I'll look into that for you, ma'am," Hope said. "I'll find out as soon as I can and give you a call back before the end of the day."

"I guess that's fine," the woman sniffed.

Hope hung up the phone, then looked up at the greying bespectacled man before him. "What's up?"

"Let's go to my office," he said. "We need to have a chat."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes:** Hey all. Sorry for not updating in months, things have been hectic. I don't have any intention of abandoning this story. It's rapidly reaching its climax, so to those of you who have stuck around, I appreciate it. Enjoy.

**Chapter Ten**

Hope followed his supervisor to his office, his stomach steadily sinking. He had a feeling he knew what the conversation was going to be about, though he prayed it wouldn't be so.

The desk was clean, with files stacked neatly to one side - much unlike Hope's, whose own workspace was strewn with lose files. A sizable brass nameplate sat at the forefront of the blotter, reading BARTHOLOMEW SIMMS in large engraved letters.

_Like Dad,_ Hope thought.

"Have a seat," Simms said, gesturing to one of the chairs in front of his desk. Hope complied, clasping his hands in his lap. Simms sat across from him and adjusted his glasses. In that moment, Hope was stuck by the physical similarities between his belated father and his supervisor. Strange how he'd never noticed before.

"Now, I didn't call you in here concerning your work performance," he began. "In fact, your work ethic is quite commendable. You always seem to be ahead of the curve."

"Thank you."

"But that isn't why we're meeting today either," Simms continued. "It has come to my attention that one of your wards is actually residing in your house. Lightning Farron."

Hope's mouth went dry. He wet his lips before replying, "Her case isn't under my designation anymore. Someone else is handling it now."

"Be that as it may, but she was your responsibility. And when she moved in with you, you _were_ still her caseworker."

"With all due respect, sir, I'm not seeing the issue." Hope leaned forward. "Currently she's not receiving any benefits. Perhaps it wasn't really ethical to have her move in with me, but -"

"Ethics are the issue here, son," Simms interrupted, holding up a hand. "You are aware of the morality clause in your contract, correct? And that what you've done constitutes as a violation of it?"

Hope fell silent and cocked his jaw stubbornly.

Simms removed his glasses and pinched the bridge his nose with a thumb and forefinger. "I'm going to give you a choice here. Either she moves out, or I terminate your employment. It's your choice."

Hope glared at him from across the desk. "This is bull. How did you even find out, anyway?"

"It wasn't that difficult," Simms said. "I - "

"This is all bullshit," Hope snapped. "I was just helping her. Isn't this what this business is about? Helping people?"

"Estheim," Simms cautioned.

"She didn't even have a home! She has a DD for god's sake. What is she supposed to do?"

"There are plenty of homeless shelters in this city…"

"Are you kidding? Who the hell wants to live in a homeless shelter?"

"Enough!" Simms' hands slapped the desktop with a loud clap. "This is not up for discussion. Estheim, you have two weeks to get her out of your house or you're fired. End of story."

Hope looked away. "Fine." He stood up and shoved his hands in his trousers pockets. He turned to leave, then paused. "One more thing."

"What is it?" Simms gave him an exasperated look.

"Is it possible for us to send someone down to this applicant's house and pick up information we need? It's due today."

He looked startled. "No. She can mail it in, or fax it, or come to the office herself. "

"Forget it. I'll do it myself." Hope spun on his heel and stalked towards the door.

"Estheim," his supervisor called to him. "You can't help everyone. They have to learn to help themselves, too."

"Yeah? That so?" Hope turned his head and looked at Simms. "You know what? Not everyone has the capacity to help themselves. Sometimes people are crying for help and we're just overlooking it because we assume that they won't do it themselves. The world isn't that black and white. It isn't split between good people and bad people, the worthy and the worthless. Maybe you haven't noticed. And at the end of the day, everyone deserves a roof over their head and food on their table." With that, he stormed out of the office.

When Hope left later on that day, his mind was racing. His stomach knotted itself in anxiety as he ran down his list of options. It killed him that he would have to kick Lightning out of his house. Not just because he had feelings for her, but because she had made so much progress the past several weeks. She'd come out of her shell and tied up the loose ends of her old life, and was in the process of beginning a new one. After tonight, she would even have a job.

He was very afraid that she would go back to her old ways if she didn't have a home. He knew she would consider residing in a homeless shelter as demeaning. She was too proud. He feared that she would live on the streets until she got herself killed. Her only family was her brother-in-law that she disliked in the first place.

When he arrived home, Lightning was already laying out clothes on his bed for their dinner with Fang.

"Is this supposed to be a formal outing?" she asked, tugging absently at her bottom lip. "Or a jeans and blouse kind of deal?"

"Somewhere in between, I guess." Hope hung up his jacket and tugged his tie loose, unbuttoning the top of his shirt.

"Real helpful," she muttered.

"I dunno Light, just something presentable," Hope said with a sigh. "We aren't going to a five star restaurant or anything."

She looked at him, hands on her hips. When he ignored her pointed look, she shrugged and picked an outfit, going to the hall bathroom to change. Hope noticed that she'd put out some clothes for him as well. He donned the slacks and the light green button up shirt, rolling the sleeves up past his forearms, and threaded a belt through the loops.

He went into the bathroom and looked at his reflection, noting how the color of the shirt seemed to emphasize the sea-green of his eyes. He realized after a few moments that he didn't recall owning this color shirt in his less-than-extensive wardrobe.

He left his room, nearly colliding with Lightning in the hallway. She steadied herself with a hand on his chest. "Sorry," he murmured.

"Is there something wrong?" Lightning asked. Hope found himself appraising her appearance - she was looking particularly put together in black leggings, heels, and a white off the shoulder top.

She cleared her throat. "Sorry," he said again. "Long day at work and all."

"Fine."

"Hey, where did you find this shirt, anyway?" Hope fingered the collar of his button up. "I don't remember buying anything like this."

"You didn't," Lightning said. "I got it for you."

Hope eyed her. "You bought this? When?" He almost asked, "And with whose money?" but he bit his tongue on the question, not wanting to offend her.

"This morning at the swap shop," Lightning said. "At a store called Cheap Skate or something like that. You can trade your clothes. After I walked Snow to the bus station I saw the store so I went back there with some stuff."

"And you got me this?"

"Yeah. The color reminded me of, well, your eyes…so."

"Thanks, Lightning." Hope smiled at her. "Really. Thanks."

She crossed her arms and cut her gaze to the side, shrugging. "You've done a lot for me. This doesn't even make up for a fraction of it. It's really not that big of a deal."

It was to Hope. And the simple act of kindness made it even harder to tell her that she had to find another place to live.

She looked up at him, eyebrows furrowed. "What's up? You look like you have something on your mind. You sure nothing's wrong?"

"Nothing at all," Hope answered. Impulsively, he reached out and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He almost expected her to stiffen in his embrace, but she allowed herself to be folded against him.

"Whatever you say," she said.

**...**

"Moscato is good stuff, isn't it?" Fang declared, draining her glass. "The one they serve here has a nice vanilla flavor."

Lightning sipped hers, savoring the aftertaste. "It does," she replied. "I like it."

Fang waved over a waiter, who refilled her wine glass. "Have as much as you like," she said. "Dinner's on me tonight. So, you were military?"

Lightning crossed her legs, fingering the stem of her glass. "I was."

"Stationed in Pulse, huh? Where at?" Fang asked, spearing her steak unceremoniously.

"Yaschas Massif."

"Ah." Fang leaned forward. "So, why aren't you in anymore?"

"I was discharged," Lightning answered.

"What for? Were you injured or something?"

Hope appeared uncomfortable. His face contorted in a slight grimace and Lightning noticed he was balling his hands into fists under the table. Further ignoring his reaction, she looked Fang in the eye and answered, "I killed someone in my unit."

Fang leveled her with a hard stare, eyebrows raised, but Lightning remained composed. It hadn't been necessary for her to explain to many people the details of her discharge - anyone who needed the knowledge had access to it. The accusatory looks failed to bother her anymore.

If only people knew the real reason behind the killing.

If only she was allowed to talk about it.

Fang smirked suddenly, sitting back in her chair. "You're tough. I like that. You won't get eaten alive, I don't think."

Lightning lifted her chin. "No."

Fang laughed under her breath and Hope relaxed visibly, giving Lightning a grin. She allowed an answering smile to ghost her face in return.

"Here's what we'll do," Fang declared. "We'll head to the lounge after dinner and I'll show you 'round, then I'll fit you for your uniform and we can figure out when you start…"

"Uniform?" Lightning inquired.

Fang gave her an especially devilish grin. "Absolutely," she said.

After dinner the three walked to the lounge, which was only a couple blocks from the restaurant. Lightning was expecting a gaudy, run down facility, complete with a buzzing, flickering neon sign advertising its fare of women. Instead she was surprised by the large building with an intricate front. The front was quite modular-looking with its mirrored glass, and the sign read "Ice Lounge" in elegant letters with a blue backlight. There was even a line outside of the door, complete with velvet ropes organizing the throng.

Fang lead the pair to a side door. Hope hung back. "I think this is where we part ways," he said.

Fang placed her hands on her hips. "Really? What, afraid your eye will stray?" She glanced over at Lightning, who furrowed her brows at Hope.

"Strip clubs aren't really my scene," he said, looking sheepish.

The older woman shook her head and laughed. "Fine. I'll make sure miss thing here makes it back to your abode safe and sound, then. I won't keep her long." Taking Lightning's arm, she started to tug her through the door. Lightning hesitated, casting something of a desperate glance at Hope.

_You'll be fine_, he mouthed at her before the door closed behind them.

The inside of the club was well-appointed, with soft blue and white lightning. The music was loud, the pulsating bass vibrating within Lightning's chest. Numerous stages were spread throughout, each occupied with a dancing woman. Each one of them was beautiful and fit, wearing various outfits - jeweled bikinis, lingerie adorned with exotic-looking feathers, or nothing at all. There was a long bar against one wall, and tables and chairs surrounding each stage. Another wall had several doors labeled "VIP".

Before they reached the office, they were accosted by a woman in a sparkling bikini decorated with peacock feathers. Her rich red locks were caught in pigtails, and her bright green eyes were lined with shimmery blue makeup.

"Boss!" she chirped. "Was wondering if you were gonna show your face tonight." Her accent was similar to Fang's and familiar to Lightning - it was a Pulse accent.

"I keep my word, don't I?" Fang wrapped an arm around her. "Lightning, this is Vanille. My top girl." She winked at the younger woman, who giggled and pulled away.

"Are you going to dance?" Vanille asked her, tilting her head to the side. Lightning shook her head.

"Nah, this one's gonna be a server. Hey, grab me an outfit, will you? I'm thinking…" Fang stood back and measured Lightning with her gaze. "Small everything - except for the bust…probably a medium."

"Got it. I'll be back in a sec," Vanille said, spinning around.

Lightning pressed her fingers to her temples. Fang laughed and turned around, unlocking the office door. "Not thinking of backing out on my generous offer, are you, love?"

Lightning dropped her arms and squared her shoulders. "Absolutely not."

**...**

Hope sat in bed his laptop in his lap, scrolling through numerous apartment listings. He couldn't find a single reasonably priced one. Even a studio apartment in Bodhum had an outrageous monthly rent. He gnawed on his knuckle in frustration.

So focused was he on his housing search for Lightning that he didn't even hear the front door open and shut. It wasn't until she tapped on his bedroom door that he glanced up, startled out of his hunt. Lightning poked her head in.

"Hey," she said. "I didn't know if you were asleep or not."

"No," he said. "How was it?"

She sighed and opened the door all the way, stepping inside. Hope raised his eyebrows as his gaze lit on her outfit - tight black spandex shorts, a black bra, and a baby blue vest.

"Uh, wow," he said, clearing his throat.

She rolled her eyes. "Wow, indeed. This is my work attire."

"Well, consider your place of employ. Fang made you walk home in that?"

"Yeah. Well, she drove me home, actually. It doesn't matter either way, though. I would've been fine." Lightning came around the bed towards him, glancing at the computer screen. She started to turn her head towards him, but something on the screen caught her eye and she looked again. "What-"

Hope reached up and grabbed Lightning, pulling her down on the bed. He pressed his lips to hers. When she didn't pull away, he threaded his fingers through her hair with one hand, his other one shutting the laptop and shoving it aside, then wrapped his arm around her waist.

After a few moments, Lightning broke the kiss and backed off the bed. "I guess you like this outfit," she said breathlessly, running a hand through her hair where Hope had mussed it.

"I am male," Hope said, relieved that she seemed to have forgotten about the computer. "Mostly I like you, though."

"I'm going to change," Lightning said. "I'll be right back."

As she turned and left the room, Hope opened his computer back up and cleared the history, then shut it off.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

"You're hiding something from me."

Lightning's declaration was met with an unceremonious silence. As she leaned against the doorway between the kitchen and the living room, one hand resting on her hip, Hope barely acknowledged that she spoke. He was sitting on the couch with his computer on his lap, studying the screen.

"Hope." She tried to hold back the edge of frustration in her voice.

At his name he lifted his head and glanced over the back of the couch at her. Lightning pushed away from the door frame and folded her arms over her chest.

"Well?" she pressed.

"What?" He gave her wide eyes.

"I said, you're hiding something."

Hope ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know why you'd think that." He turned away from her. "Don't you work soon?"

At his casual dismissal, she bristled. "I don't think it, I know it." She stalked around the furniture, banging her calf on the coffee table as she moved to stand before him. "Why else would you be so distant lately?"

Hope's fingers moved restlessly across the keyboard. Lightning resisted the urge to slam the laptop closed on his hands. He finally looked up at her with a careless smile. "Light, nothing's wrong. I have absolutely nothing to keep from you, okay? I promise."

Lightning's fingers curled into fists and she tried to swallow back the rising tide of her anger. She imagined this was how a toddler felt in the throes of a temper-tantrum - out of control and completely unable of regaining it.

"Besides," Hope continued, "I don't know how you can say I've been distant with you, considering…" He trailed off deliberately, and Lightning felt the blood rush to her cheeks. In the last week, they had become considerably more intimate with each other. No sex in any form, but other things, almost every night before they went to bed. And it was that, exactly, that had awakened suspicion. For the most part since they had acknowledged the attraction between them, Hope would follow her lead. But in the last several days he had become more aggressive in his ardor, almost as if he was shutting her up. Lightning had enjoyed it initially, until she'd detected the pattern.

They had hardly spoken in the last week and a half, Lightning had realized. Hope worked his 9-5, and Lightning would be getting ready to leave for the bar by the time he came home. And she arrived home well after midnight. He would be awake, but they wouldn't really have a conversation - or if they did, it was cut short by impromptu heavy petting.

"That doesn't count," she retorted. "That's not even what I'm talking about."

"I dunno what you want me to tell you, Light," he said. "Other than that I'm sorry feel that way. I mean, we work opposite schedules…"

Lightning bit down hard on the inside of her cheek.

"Fine," she said. "I guess now's a good a time as any to tell you that I'm moving out."

Hope's head snapped up. "You're what?"

"Moving," Lightning replied, satisfied to finally have the upper hand in the conversation and Hope's attention.

Hope stood up. "How? When? Where?"

"Fang helped me find an affordable place," she said. "Not around the harbor, but still here in Palumpolum."

His dumbfounded expression was soon replaced with something unreadable. He averted his gaze. "Maybe that's for the best."

She regarded him in silence, feeling herself slowly deflate. "So that's it."

Hope still didn't look at her. He set aside his computer. "Well, I mean - you didn't want to stay, did you?" As soon as the words escaped him, he visibly winced. "Lightning-"

"You know, I wasn't planning on going until the end of the week. But as soon as I get home tonight, I'll go ahead and pack my shit and be gone by morning. Would that make you happy?" Just like that, she was out of the driver's seat. Her enmity surged and this time she didn't bother curbing it. "I don't even know what your intentions are anymore. But it ends now. Obviously whatever you wanted from me didn't matter all that much, did it?"

"Stop it," he pleaded. "Light, that's not what I meant."

"Shut up!" she snapped. "What was I, your good deed for the day or something that got old so you tried to make it more interesting for yourself by trying to fuck me?"

"What?" He gave her an incredulous look. "That's the most unreasonable thing I've ever heard!"

"Oh yeah? It looks pretty plausible from where I stand. You don't have to worry about it anymore, though." Lightning turned away from him, walking towards the door. She felt Hope's hand on her shoulder and she spun around, slapping his fingers away. "Don't."

She caught sight of Hope's face, his expression raw and vulnerable. In an instant, Lightning saw not a man but a boy - a child, small and abased and orphaned, still desperately looking for the guidance of a mother figure. Disgust flowed over her in a nauseating wave, and shame, too. Shame that she'd ever opened herself up to him, that she'd ever allowed herself to become intimate with him, that she'd ever felt anything more for him.

Her lip curled. She yanked the front door open and slammed it behind her.

Halfway through the cab ride, she realized that she'd neglected to change into her work attire. She wasn't about to go back, though. She hoped that Fang would give her another outfit.

Once Lightning reached the lounge, she slipped through the side door reserved for employees. The lone bouncer standing guard gave her a brief nod as she let herself in.

The back was a hub of activity, with girls rushing back and forth in a blur of color and glitter. Fang stood in the middle of it all, snapping an order at another bouncer. She whirled around and caught sight of Lightning.

"Where is your uniform?" she barked. "It's a full house tonight! I need you on the floor now."

"It's a long story," Lightning answered. "Can I get another one? It won't happen again, I promise."

Fang eyed her, then shook her head in exasperation. "Fine. Whatever. There's more on the rack. And when you're finished changing, can you find where the hell Vanille got to?" Without waiting for an answer, she rushed towards the front.

Lightning approached the long rack that stood by one of the back walls. It was filled with what seemed like every costume imaginable. Amidst the feathers and sequins she finally found a server's uniform in her size, and slipped into a changing room. Other dancers were in there as well, changing and fixing their make up. Lightning tugged off her clothing, revealing the back sheath she wore that carried her knife.

Glancing at the other women to make sure they didn't notice, she sidled into one of the dim corners and quickly pulled on her outfit. She didn't know what her co-workers would make of the knife, which she began wearing on her person when she started the job. She didn't wholly trust the patrons, upscale as they may be. She preferred a calf sheath instead, but pumps were the standard footwear for servers and would not hide it. The loose vest hid the back sheath nicely, however, and the dim lighting in the club also made its bulkiness less noticeable.

Once dressed, she approached the mirror. A dancer was leaning forward and inspecting her own reflection. As Lightning ran her fingers through her hair, she asked, "Have you seen Vanille? Fang's looking for her."

"Oh, yeah," the girl said, applying more lipstick. "She's locked up in the big dressing room. Making us all share this one." She met Lightning's gaze in the mirror. "No idea what she's doing in there."

"No one's bothered to check on her?"

The girl shrugged, attending to her make up once more. Lightning turned and left, starting down the now-empty corridor to the other changing room. She tried the door, which was indeed locked.

"Vanille?" she said, knocking.

_Lightning lay awake in her bunk, staring at the dark ceiling. She was bathed in a fine layer of sweat. Pulse as a whole was incredibly humid, and the ceiling fans only served to blow the hot air around. She was damp and uncomfortable, and desperately wanted a shower. _

_She slid out of bed and pulled her combat boots from under the frame, slipping them on her feet and tying them. She also shoved her pistol into the waistband of her shorts - just in case._

_As she exited the bunkhouse and walked towards the bathhouse situated across the compound, she heard a low, animalistic grunt. She paused, listening. A high pitched squeal erupted into the night, cut short by a harsh clap and followed by the sounds of a scuffle in the dry grass._

_Hackles raised, Lightning started slowly around the bunkhouse, listening for the source of the noises. Peering around the corner, she saw two figures on the ground, wrestling in the grass. _

There was no answer. Lightning pressed her ear to the door. She could hear the muted voices of two people talking, and though she couldn't make out what they were saying, she could tell one of them was Vanille - and the other voice was a male.

That fact alone both concerned her. She banged on the door again and jiggled the knob. "Vanille!"

"Fuck you!" the male voice shouted, and Vanille screamed. Something crashed to the floor.

Lightning cursed and looked around. The back was completely empty now, and there was nothing to break down the door with. She decided to just rush the door and hope her body weight alone was enough. It shuddered as her shoulder banged painfully against it, but it still stood.

The knob began to jiggle and the door flew open. Vanille stood in the doorway for a split second, eyes wide and hair disheveled, before the man grabbed and yanked her backwards. She fell to the floor, glass crunching beneath her.

_Lightning approached silently, drawing her pistol. As she drew closer, she discerned who it was, and fury surged through._

_It was Ryder Fortun, pinning a young woman underneath him. He held her arms above her head with one hand, the other he had clasped over her mouth to muffle her. _

_"I told you to stop fuckin' fightin'!" he hissed at her. "Or I'll just kill you instead. You want that?"_

_The woman's wide eyes glistened with tears in the moonlight._

Lightning grabbed the trash can beside the door and flung it in the path of the man, who'd began to stalk towards Vanille's prone figure. He tripped and fell to his knees.

"Motherfucker!" he snarled, turning on Lightning. She began to back away, hand going under her vest, but he grabbed her before she could go for the knife and slammed her into the wall. "Bitch!" he rasped in her face.

_Lightning jammed the pistol against the back of Fortun's head. He turned his head slowly to regard her. The scent of alcohol wafted from him._

_"Get up, you piece of shit," she hissed at him._

_"Or what?" Fortun laughed under his breath. The hand he was using to cover the girl's mouth wandered down her neck and chest, and she cried out. _

_"Or I will fucking kill you," Lightning answered, finger curling around the trigger. _

The man backhanded Lightning so hard she saw stars. She slid down the wall, dazed, and he turned back towards Vanille, who scrambled to her feet and grasped at her side as blood began to ooze through her shirt. She booked it towards the door, but she wasn't quick enough. He snared her in his grasp by her throat, eliciting a grotesque choking sound from her.

Lightning got to her feet, using the wall to steady herself. She pulled the knife from its sheath and began walking towards the man as her vision cleared. He was shaking Vanille, and the color had already drained from her face.

_Fortun sat back on his heels, still holding the girl to the ground. His free hand wandered down her body and he laughed again as she yelped in dismay. "No you won't," he slurred. _

_It was enough._

_Lightning shot him in the side of the head. _

She didn't hesitate. She grabbed the man's hair and yanked his head back, and slashed the knife across the exposed line of his throat. Bright red blood sprayed out and his hands fell away, releasing Vanille. She staggered, catching herself on a toppled chair and breathing hard. The man fell to the floor, rapidly bleeding out.

Lightning and Vanille stared at him as the blood pooled beneath him.

"My god," Vanille gasped. "You killed him."

A loud round of applause sounded from the front of the lounge. Footsteps began to ring through the back corridor as the dancers filed through to change.

"The show's over," Vanille said.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes: **I meant to get this posted sooner, but I've been dealing with some hard stuff on my end. Anyway, thanks for the support so far; I've gotten some especially thoughtful comments recently. This is the second to last chapter. Chapter thirteen will conclude the story. I hope you guys enjoy.

**Chapter Twelve**

_"What can we do to make this go away?"_

_Lightning sat across a long table from the two highest ranking officers in PSICOM, Yaag Rosch and Jihl Nabaat. Lieutenant Amodar stood in the corner, arms crossed behind his back._

_She stared back at Yaag in silence. She knew his question wasn't directed towards her. He glanced at Jihl and cleared his throat._

_"You will be discharged, of course. A dishonorable discharge. That we can't change. After all, you did commit murder."_

_Lightning felt her stomach drop to the floor. "No," she protested. "How? Fortun assaulted that girl! And I'm sure there's been countless others. He was sick."_

_"That is where this matter complicates," Jihl said. "But I believe I have a solution-"_

_"A DD is going to ruin my life," Lightning interrupted. "I get the shitty end of the deal either way."_

_"No," Jihl replied, laying her hands flat on the table. "For your crime, you would normally serve a prison sentence. You could go away for years. Instead, I propose that we omit a prison term in exchange for your silence on this matter."_

_Lightning looked away and folded her arms across her chest._

_"That is the easiest I can make this for you," Jihl stated. "That is my offer. Take it, and you go as a relatively free woman. Leave it, and you_** will **_go to prison."_

_Lightning stared at the floor. _

_"Lightning," Amodar murmured._

_She looked up at him. Compassion flickered across his face, and he nodded at her. She swallowed hard as she turned back to Jihl. _

_"Fine," Lightning answered. "Fine."_

_"Very good," Jihl said. "I'm glad we have a deal. And remember," she added as Lightning shoved back her chair and stood. "If you speak of it, our terms are forfeit, and you will go to prison. At any rate, this is still going to go on your record as a felony. So I advise that you don't slip up in the future."_

"Vanille! You finally done in there?"

Fang poked her head through the doorway, jostled by a group of girls behind her. Her eyes lit on Lightning and Vanille's pale faces, then to the floor where the dead man lay. She quickly shut the door behind her. A chorus of muffled complaints rose from the girls. "Go on!" she shouted through the door. "There's plenty of room for you lot in the other dress area." Fang turned back to the pair.

"What have you done?" she asked.

Lightning dropped the knife. It clanged as it hit the floor. The sound seemed magnified in the silence.

Fang raised her voice. "What the fuck did you do?" she questioned as she stalked towards Lightning. "For fuck's sake, what happened?"

"I killed him," she answered, her voice steady despite the fact that her whole body was beginning to tremble. "He was going to hurt Vanille, so I killed him first."

Fang looked at Vanille, who met her gaze with wide eyes. A pattern of bruises were already starting to form on her neck, and blood was drying on her clothing. Fang averted her eyes and looked back down at the man, using her foot to roll him over. At the sight of his face, she swore.

"You knew better, Vanille," she said. The redhead bowed her head, curls obscuring her face. "Dammit! Didn't I tell you to ban this patron?"

"He wanted to talk," Vanille said in a small voice. "I figured there was no harm in talking-" She stopped, then continued, "The money…"

"Enough." Fang rubbed the bridge of her nose.

Lightning caught sight of herself in the large vanity mirror. Her face was bruised where the man had slapped her, and her bottom lip was split and swollen.

"Stay put," Fang said. "I'll be right back."

…

_That could've gone better,_ Hope thought as he curled on his side in bed, pulling the comforter over his head. _A lot better._

He should've just told Lightning the truth in the first place. In retrospect, it seemed so silly that he had hidden the fact that he was going to have to kick her out. Especially now that she was going to move out of her own accord.

And he had reacted so stupidly. How he wanted to beg for her to stay. But he couldn't have, in case she took him up on the offer. Then he would've been in an even bigger mess.

What hurt more than anything, however, was the look of utter repulsion on her face before she'd left.

The sound of his phone going off startled him. He stuck a hand out from under the covers and reached for it blindly on his night stand, nearly knocking over his alarm clock in the process. Once he managed to grab the phone, he drew it under the blanket and answered it.

"Hello?" he mumbled.

"You need to come to the lounge. Now," Fang snapped.

"What?" Hope sat up, pulling the covers off his head. "Why?"

"Just get down here as fast as you can," she answered. "It's an emergency." The line beeped as she terminated the call.

…

Lightning sat in a chair, shoulders hunched. More than anything, she felt tired. The adrenaline had all but seeped from her body, leaving nothing but exhaustion. Even the fear had dwindled away.

She glanced sidelong at Vanille. She was leaning against the wall, pressing a towel to the cuts on her side. She seemed remarkably unshaken, as if this was something that happened to her often. Perhaps it did.

She looked so much like the girl who had been assaulted that night. Same rich red locks, curling against her cream-colored skin.

The door opened and Fang reappeared, Hope one step behind her. As he walked over the threshold and caught sight of the body on the floor, he froze. His hand flew to his mouth and his eyes bulged.

"Oh god," he uttered, voice strained. "Is he…is he dead?"

Fang kicked the door shut with her heel. "Bit of a problem, huh?"

Hope turned on her. "A _bit?_" he spat. "There's a dead man on the floor and that's a _bit _of a problem? Christ." He passed a hand over his pale face. "Why haven't you called the cops? Why did you drag me-" His gaze settled on the bloody knife on the floor and he stopped speaking abruptly. "Lightning." His voice was hollow.

Lightning sat up straighter and met his eyes.

"Why?" he asked. "For god's sake, _why?_"

She stared up at him, then shook her head silently.

"I can't believe this shit. Why would you do this? Why?"

"He was hurting me," Vanille spoke up. "I thought - for a minute, I really thought I was going to die." Her hand went to her throat involuntarily, and she fell silent.

Hope stalked towards Lightning and leaned down in her face, hands gripping the armrests. "Your freedom is forfeit. You know that? You're already a felon, there's no way you're going to contort yourself out of prison time like you did before - however the hell that happened - whether it was self-defense or not. There's no way. Why did you kill him, Lightning? Why?" His voice broke and he pushed away from her, walking towards a corner in the room.

"He's right, Lightning," Fang said.

"I know that," Lighting answered. She turned her head towards Hope, wetting her lips. "Hope."

"What?" he snapped, jerking his head around. "Why did you have to kill him, Light? You couldn't have…I don't know, subdued him or something? God, you know what? You're like some kind of m-"

"Hope," Fang interrupted in a warning tone.

"No," Lightning said. "Say it, Hope. Finish that sentence. Go ahead. Do it."

Hope looked at her then, really looked at her. The look in his eyes was so raw. It was the same look he had given her before she'd stormed out of the house only mere hours before, but...

She had misinterpreted that look before. It wasn't child-like vulnerability. It was pain, plain and simple. His and hers, intertwined and reflected in his gaze.

"I'm sorry, Hope," she said, feeling her throat constrict. "I'm really sorry."

His face softened somewhat. "I just want to know why," he murmured. "Why you felt like you had to kill him."

She lowered her head, her hair obscuring her face. "Because…it felt so much like before. When I killed that soldier, it wasn't just for nothing. He was going to rape this girl, this young girl. And I was so angry." Her fists clenched in her lap. "I knew he had done it before, and I knew if I didn't stop him then and there, he would keep doing it. And that knowledge made me so sick and angry. So I killed that fucker." She looked over at the dead man. "When I saw him hurting Vanille, that I felt that same anger. So I acted in the same manner. There was no other thought, no nagging conscience. No hesitation." She lifted her eyes to Hope's face. "No regrets."

"I'm sorry," she said again after a moment, softly.

Fang cleared her throat. "Sorry to interrupt your monologue there, but we need a game plan."

Lightning got to her feet. "I wasn't aware we needed one."

Fang raised an eyebrow. "You want to go to jail?"

"No." Lightning folded her arms across her chest. "But I don't really have a choice in the matter."

"Well, I have an idea," Fang declared. "If you're up to it."

"What?" Hope looked between them.

"Simple," Fang said. "We take Lightning to Pulse."

"Pulse?" Hope exclaimed. "Is that a joke?"

Lightning and Fang looked at each other. "What do you think?" Fang asked her.

"No way," Hope interjected. "How would she even pull that off? The cops are going to be looking for her…" He eyed Fang. "You are calling the police, right? You're not going to hide the body."

"No." Fang rolled her eyes. "I'm not. Okay, just listen. I'll put up Lightning in my apartment for the night, then call the police. Say I just found the body back here and my waitress is missing. Of course they'll suspect Lightning and start looking - probably starting with your place - but I only have to keep her hidden 'til morning. Then head to the airport..."

"How are you going to get her a plane ticket unnoticed?" Hope asked. "She's going to need a passport. Not to mention the only public flights go to one of the military bases. It's too risky."

Fang tutted. "How many times have I asked for you to come with me to visit home in my _private_ jet that flies directly to my _private_ airstrip?"

"Aah…"

"A jet? Seriously?" Lightning stared at the other woman in disbelief.

Fang flicked her hair over her shoulder. "Anyway, that's my brilliant plan. Are you in?"

Lightning bit her knuckle thoughtfully. _To go back to Pulse…_

This situation was too surreal. It was funny, how one impulsive action could change the course of her life in the span of seconds. It had happened once, and now a second time. Maybe it was her destiny, to make a series of extemporaneous decisions and act upon them until she finally backed herself into a corner.

Or maybe not.

"Yes," she said. "I'm in."

"Light," Hope said. "You…if you go to Pulse, you'll…you can't come back."

"I know that." She looked over at him. "But it's a hell of a better shot than the alternative."

"Yeah, but who knows. I mean, maybe you'll get off on a self-defense charge. Or not go to prison for long. I mean…"

Fang scoffed. "You changed your tune pretty quickly. What if she winds up on death row or something?"

"She won't," Hope said, indignant.

"I don't understand," Vanille said. "Why does she have to go to prison? I'll tell the police that she saved me."

"Because, sweetheart," Fang told her, "the justice system is incredibly fucked up. Isn't that right?" She shot a pointed look at Hope.

"Hope," Lightning murmured. "Think about it. Going to Pulse really is my best bet. If didn't have a future here before, I sure won't after this, no matter what the outcome."

"That's true too," Fang interjected. "She can get a fresh start over there."

Hope was silent, his silvery locks hiding his face.

"Well, if we're all in agreement." Fang looked over at Lightning and tossed her a key. "Take a cab to my place. Hope, just stick around for now; the cops will be banging on your door sometime tonight if you don't." When Lightning hesitated, she gestured impatiently. "Well, go! This body's been sitting out long enough, I need my story to be semi-plausible."

"Fang…thank you." Casting a sidelong glance at Hope, she stepped out of the dressing room and headed down the corridor towards the side exit.

…

A sharp knock at the door startled Lightning awake. She sat up and slid off the couch. Her knees cracked as she padded towards the front door. Peering through the peep hole, she was surprised to see it was not Fang, but Hope.

She unlocked the door and opened it. "What are you doing here? Where's Fang?"

"She's staying at the club tonight." He stepped inside, shrugging off his coat and hanging it on the rack by the door. "Talking to the cops still, I guess. They bought the story, though."

"Did they?" Lightning wrapped her arms around herself and shouldered the door shut.

"You sound surprised." Hope turned to her. She shrugged. "Well, Fang's pretty convincing when she wants to be, if you hadn't noticed."

"What about you?" she asked. "Fang might be a good liar, but you aren't."

He gave her a wry smile. "They didn't really ask me too many questions I had to lie about, really."

Lightning returned the smile. "Thank god for that, I guess. What time is it?"

"A little after one." Hope snapped on the kitchen light. "I'll make some tea, if you want."

"Sure." Lightning sat at the island bar and watched him place two mugs in the microwave. "You still didn't tell me why you came."

Hope started going through the cabinets. "Because I wanted to talk to you." Pulling out a box of tea bags, he turned around. "Because you're going to be gone by tomorrow, and…" He studied her face. "You don't seem too fazed."

"It hasn't really sunk in yet, I suppose."

"You're not scared?" The microwave beeped, and Hope removed the mugs. He dunked a tea bag in one of them and placed it in front of Lightning. She wrapped her fingers around the warm ceramic.

"No," she said. "Not scared. Not of going there, anyway."

"You know what they say." Hope spooned honey into his tea. "Pulse is hell."

"It's not." Lightning swirled the tea bag around in the mug. "Not really. It's…primitive, I guess. Compared to here, anyway. But it's far from hell."

They drank the tea in companionable silence before making their way to the couch, sitting on opposite ends. Hope turned to face her, leaning against the arm.

"I wanted to apologize," he said. "For…everything. The stuff I said to you, for hiding things from you…"

"What _were_ you hiding, anyway?" Lightning asked. "Horrible as you were at it."

Hope laughed. "It seems so stupid now. My boss basically told me I had to kick you out or lose my job."

"That's it?" Lightning rolled her eyes. "Why didn't you just tell me in the first place?"

"Because I was scared." Hope leaned forward. "Of your reaction. Of losing you. And now I have to wonder, would things have turned out differently tonight if I had been honest with you? Maybe none of this wouldn't have ever happened."

"Don't," Lightning said. "There's no point in wondering about what's done. And to be honest, I doubt it would've changed this outcome. Us fighting had nothing to do with what happened tonight. And even if it did, if something awful had happened to Vanille…"

Hope placed a finger against her lips. "Now who's wondering about what's done?" he asked softly.

She gave him a rueful smile. He brushed his fingers against her cheek before dropping his hand. She caught it and pressed her lips to his palm, then lifted her gaze to his.

"I'm going to miss you," she whispered.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes: **Here's the final chapter, short and sweet. For those who liked this story, I have good news: there is a sequel in the works. I actually hope to have the first chapter up very soon. Anyway, thanks again for all the kind words and support from all of you during this project. I feel like you guys have helped me improve a lot, though I still have a ways to go. Enjoy.

**Chapter Thirteen**

It was sweet, and strange.

"Have you even done this before?" Lightning asked breathlessly, her hands sliding down Hope's bare chest. She could feel his heart racing beneath her fingertips, her own pulse matching its speed.

Hope lifted his head and brushed his lips against hers. "No," he answered.

"Me either," Lightning admitted. "Shit."

"What?" He smiled against her mouth. "Not down for awkward, virginal sex?"

"All two seconds that it will last."

"Gee, thanks." Hope leaned back and brushed a stray pink strand of hair out of Lightning's face. "Just relax, okay? Do it for me, anyway. I'm nervous, too."

Lightning took a deep breath. "I'm not nervous."

"Well, you're making _me _nervous," Hope clarified.

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry." She brought his face back to hers and kissed him as he pressed the line of their bodies together.

Lightning didn't know what she was expecting, but it was unlike anything she had ever experienced. It wasn't a fairytale deflowering, but it wasn't awful either. _Strange indeed_, she thought as she gasped against Hope's mouth, skin gliding against skin, _but good. Definitely good._

And afterward, she felt light. Any regret she may have had about the act had all but dissipated in the aftermath.

"Now what?" she asked, her face inches from Hope's as they lay in the guest bedroom, sweaty limbs entangled.

Hope kissed her forehead. "We run away and elope. No other choice."

"Ha, ha."

"Yeah." He traced the line of her jaw with his fingertip. "Wishful thinking."

"You're ridiculous," she remarked, batting his hand away with a playful smile.

"So how'd I do?" Hope propped himself up on his elbow.

"Ten out of ten. Bravo."

He rolled his eyes. "At least it was longer than two seconds. I wasn't hearing any complaints during, so I'll assume it was fine."

"Did I sound sarcastic?"

"A little."

"It was fine," she assured him. "It was more than fine. It was good."

They lay in a companionable silence for awhile, Hope's arms wrapped around Lightning's shoulders from behind. Her eyelids fluttered, but she refused to allow herself to fall asleep. She could tell that he was still awake as well.

"I wish things were different," she said after a time. She felt Hope stir, his head rising from the pillow. He nestled his face in the curve of her neck, kissing the skin.

"That surprises me," he responded.

She turned her head to look at him. "Why?"

"Because you're the kind of person who doesn't regret anything she does. Good or bad. Right?"

Lightning sat up, pulling the sheet around her shoulders. "I do. I have a lot. More than I can count, really, I just try not to dwell on it. But I've made so many mistakes, it's impossible not to have regrets." She paused.

"Was tonight a mistake?" Hope asked. "You saved Vanille, didn't you? You seemed to think it was worth it."

Lightning stared into the darkness. "Maybe. I will always wonder. But I always do." She gave him a wry smile. "Hindsight is always 20/20 and all that."

Hope relaxed against her, pressing his face into her side.

"If I could turn back time, though, I'd change," Lightning murmured. "If I could see the folly in my pride, I'd do everything differently. Or even if I could only change one thing…" _Serah._

She didn't even realize there were tears welling up in her eyes until Hope reached up and brushed them away.

"I wouldn't," he said.

"Wouldn't what?"

"Change any of this. Because I wouldn't have been able to meet you." He sat up beside her. Behind him, the sky through the picture window was lightening, casting a soft blue glow on his skin. "Though if it would ease your pain, I would, but for my own sake - no."

"Hope-"

"Don't. I know what you're gonna say, but don't belittle my feelings. Because they're real." His fingers closed around hers. "We haven't been together long, no. And we went through some shitty situations, this one the shittiest of all because it cut our time even shorter. And yeah, you made some mistakes, but I don't care."

"Mistakes. We keep calling them mistakes." Lightning rubbed her eyes. "At the end of the day, I killed someone, Hope. Two people."

"I know that. And you don't get it, Light. I'm fully aware of these things, and I'm still here, aren't I?" Hope grasped her shoulders. "I'd be lying if I said that it didn't bother me, at least somewhat. But it doesn't really change anything. I know you don't really consider yourself as lovable or desirable, or even human sometimes. But you are. And maybe I'm crazy too, for feeling this way. But all the things you've done, good or bad, you did them all for a reason. And I respect that."

Lightning gazed at him, speechless.

"You're stubborn and proud, yeah. But you're strong and brave, too. Among other things." Hope smiled at her. "You've taught me a lot - about myself, about people in general. About how the world isn't as black and white as I tried to pretend it was. Lightning, I love you." No hesitation. His lips captured hers in a long kiss, his arms going around her.

Lightning couldn't remember the last time someone had told her they loved her. She was sure her parents and Serah had said it at some point, but she couldn't think of any specific occasions. It wasn't the same, anyway.

It felt good.

They broke away in time to see the sun rising above the buildings. Hope watched for a moment, then sighed, kissing her forehead.

"I guess it's time to go," he said. "Fang said to meet her around 11, and it takes a few hours to..."

"Yeah," Lightning answered. They met each other's gaze.

"One more time?" Hope inquired, pulling the sheet away from Lightning's body.

"One more time," she agreed.

**...**

The airstrip was quiet, save for the fine breeze that played through the grasses as it came off Lake Bresha some miles to the east. Only one lone plane sat on the runway, the pilot loading a few bags.

"Good tailwind," Fang noted.

Lightning looked west, brushing her hair away from her face.

"Where are we landing?" she asked. "Not at the base, obviously."

"No. Oerba. You'll like it, I think. Not too big, not too small. Not too busy, not too quiet. It's where I grew up."

"And I suppose you're the town hero."

The corner of Fang's mouth quirked. "Something like that." She pressed a thick envelope into Lightning's hands. She didn't have to look inside to know it was a substantial amount of money.

"No," Fang said before Lightning could protest. "I'm not sending you over there with nothing to your name."

Lightning closed her mouth and nodded. "Thank you, Fang. You have no idea how much I appreciate everything you've done."

Fang waved a careless hand. "It's nothing. The pilot will take you to the post office straight away so you can register. From there, I'm sure you can find a hotel to put you up until you find a more long term residence. Ah, hell." She pulled Lightning into a hug, clapping her back. "You'll be alright, love," she murmured. "I know you will."

"You about ready?" the pilot called.

"Just a sec," Fang answered.

Lightning turned to Hope. He looked down at her, rubbing his arm across his face.

"I'm trying to see you off with a smile," he said. "But…"

"I know," Lightning whispered. She leaned up to kiss him. He pulled her close, pushing his fingers through her hair.

"We'll figure this out," Hope spoke against her lips. "I don't think we're meant to end like this."

"Maybe." She drew away, her throat tight with unshed tears. "Maybe you're right, Hope. But…thank you. For everything. I…you mean more to me than anyone." Her throat worked. "I'll write you. And we can talk about everything. Figure it out, like you said."

"I love you," he said.

Lightning kissed him one last time, lingering. "Goodbye."

She turned away, her fingertips brushing his, and followed Fang to the plane. She passed a hand over her cheeks, but there were no tears to wipe away. She swallowed back the rest and lifted her head.

It was time to pick up the pieces and begin anew.

_End_


End file.
